Where and Back Again

When it Rains

2012-02-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

When it rains it pours.

Now, things could be worse, but in my safe little life I find that bumps feel more like mountains. Perhaps this is part of why these things come up. I need to learn how to hang on to the One who is never changing. The One who isn't safe, but is Good. (thank you CS Lewis for this insight that never ceases to surface and amaze me)

Simon is dealing with back pain. At the age of 10, my basketball playing son has had moments in the past week that brought him literally to the floor. Why is he dealing with 30 year old aches and pains? Why isn't he just bouncing back? Not wanting to freak out, we give him some advil, give a little pep talk about being tough and the real world where you have to function even if you don't feel 100% and then gently push him out the door to the bus. I sit and worry at home, or I stand and worry at the preschool as I work. But regardless I worry. Emails from teachers making sure we knew about his pain. Emails back saying we are on top of this, but guilt plagues me.

Last night, Eowyn was playing with Sean and a friend during Si's basketball practice. I wasn't there in the hall with them (more guilt). I was in the gym watching Simon. My mommy senses must have been tingling because when I heard the outburst, I knew it was Eowyn. She came running into the gym with fear behind her teary eyes. Then she shows me. Her front permanent tooth has been chipped. Broken off diagonally, more like. There's not much of the tooth left. Now, I have a tough stomach, but this one almost did me in. I put on my Super Mom exterior and for the next 45 minutes made phone calls, soothed, asked for advice, more soothing, and trying not to be mad.

Eowyn later recalls my face when she showed her tooth to me. She said "You looked mad and scared, Mom."And I was mad. I was certainly scared. But I couldn't be for my sweet daughter. Although the worst of the pain had past, I know that the uncertainty of what the dentist will do can cripple a person.

Coming home wasn't any easier.

I had promised hot chocolates to the kids after practice, but some how this wasn't as easy as heating up the water and mixing the swiss miss in. There was drama with Sean when pajamas were required for the bedtime treat. This is a shocker of course. I mean, who puts pjs on every single night before bed? I must be the only mom to ask their children to do this. He ended up falling asleep having been sent to his room for ugly words to mommy. His sleepy body was dead to my kisses when I finally came in to talk to him. It wasn't the same as reconciliation when he's conscious. It broke me, guilt pouring in. I prayed my kisses somehow sunk in.

Through all of this Tim is not feeling well having dealt with his own health issues the past day and half. "Sorry I am not feeling up to helping much with moral support, babe." That's all it took. I broke down.

Crying in front of my kids is something I don't enjoy doing. Now, I don't mind the sad tears, nor the happy ones. Those have lessons behinds them. However, when I feel out of control of my own life and the tears pour out mingled with frustration, anger, and hopelessness...Simon asks "What's wrong, Mommy?" Well, it's hard to answer that. Hard to make THAT a teachable moment.

But it is in that moment that my Good God choose to teach me. I am His child, after all.

Everyone slept well. That helped a lot.

When I woke up and dealt with Simon's back again, made numerous phone calls to insurance companies, school, and trying to get the dentist office to call me back...finally, I took a deep breath, put on Waterdeep and remembered that God doesn't change. That even when my life seems to be out of control, He sees me. He wipes my tears, tells me to let go of the guilt, embrace His faithfulness and find security in His firm foundation.

Those who trust in the Lord
Are a strong mountain
They will not…not be moved

Those who trust in the Lord
Are as Mount Zion
They will not…not be moved

Christ the King, He sets my feet
On a firm foundation
They will not…not be moved

Though the world moves like mad
You alone are faithful
Jesus, you, you will not be changed

My Tough Girlie

One Reason Why We Don't Do Santa

2011-12-20T23:29:00.000-08:00

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Since becoming a parent, I feel as if I'm the odd mom out come Christmas season. And in this day and age I almost have to fight the guilty feelings about it. There seems to be an unspeakable rule I am breaking, so much so that when I meet a new friend who is a mother I feel the need to introduce myself by saying, "Hi, I'm Kari. I am a stay at home mom. I teach piano lessons. I crochet. Oh and by the way our family doesn't do Santa."

It seems like in the past decade the number of "Santa" movies and "Just Believe" messages this time of year have exponentially grown since I was a kid. Because of this, I do feel like I'm in a minority in many mommy circles. It isn't as if Tim & I strive to "protect" our family from any and all "holiday" parties, movies, or songs. We actually enjoy putting on The Santa Clause trilogy with the kids, singing Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer, and wearing Santa hats while decorating the Christmas tree. We just don't put Santa gifts under the tree, and were always straightforward with our children about Santa when questions were asked so we never struggled with half truths and fingers crossed behind our backs through the month of December.

Deciding not to promote Santa with our kids was actually an easy choice for Tim & I, as parents. I would say it was a no-brainer, except we did sit down and thoughtfully discuss it when Simon was 4 or 5. The hardest part is parenting the kids to "safely" interact with the 90% of their school mates who do Santa. This year, the 1st grade class at our elementary school actually wrote and sent letters to Santa. I'm sure there's a contingent out there that would try and raise a fuss about this, and while I was surprised they were allowed to do anything Christmas-related during school hours, Tim and I choose to use it as yet another tool for bringing up the age old (okay, not age old, but century old?) question with our first grader: Just what IS Christmas all about?

This was an important question for our first grader whose classmates and neighbors believe in Santa. This was important for us as a family as we are helping to advocate and collect gifts for a little boy and his family in our community this Christmas. It is because of our absolutely consistent, no-nonsense discussions of the jolly fat man that I was so taken aback when our sweet heart of a boy wondered at why we were gathering gifts for this family.

"This family may not have any gifts under the tree if it weren't for people like {insert names of family/friends here}. They don't have money to spend on anything extra at Christmas," I answer thinking this is a good lesson in having a heart for those less fortunate. Instead it turned into a lesson I thought was already learned.

"But that's okay. Santa will bring him gifts at Christmas!" he reassures me with a smile.

Wait. We don't do Santa in our family. We've never even let this be a grey area. Santa is a fun pretend some Mommies and Daddies do with their kids. We just don't pretend in this way because we really feel you can't learn early enough that Christmas is about giving, not getting (and Santa really *is* all about getting). What exactly has our boy heard from us all this time?

It was an eye opener.

I felt in light of my journalling through this advent season that this was worth recording. Worth thinking about. Worth talking about.

Is it okay to make Santa such a big deal that we neglect not only the babe in a manger, but the season of giving? Because I believe that Christmas is to its core about God giving the world Jesus, giving is then the over arching theme that can even transcend the religious tones. How empty is Christmas if it all boils down to being good. Just believing. The Spirit of Christmas centering around the "honor" of a Saint who would probably roll over in his grave if he realized what we have turned him into?

I'm sure this topic will spark all manner of questions and possibly there are those ready to try to shoot holes in my philosophy on this, but that is all I'm going to touch on today.

Tomorrow I get to play "St. Nick" in the purest of senses: giving to those less fortunate in my community. And again I will point out that I am simply the hands delivering them. There are so many other hands whose selfless giving I merely represent.

Thank you to all who gave to this family and Merry Christmas!

Help Save the Slocum House Theatre!

2011-12-17T17:29:00.000-08:00

I am shocked and saddened that the City of Vancouver has planned to raise Slocum House Theatre's rent by 400%. Obviously the community theatre cannot support that, but apparently some other business can afford it and money is more important than preserving art and Vancouver history. Please read the email I received from the board of directors at the Slocum House and tell our Council members how Vancouver wants to keep the Slocum House Theatre in the Slocum House!

Slocum House Theatre
December 17, 2011

Greetings!

We need your help.

It is with a heavy heart that the Board of Directors informs you of the City of Vancouver's plan for our beloved theatre company. As you probably know, the city owns the Slocum House, and they have just recently presented us with a new rental contract that would increase our rent by 400% over what we are currently paying effective January, 2012. Imagine if your rent or mortgage was suddenly increased by that much! This would certainly evict our modest community theatre out of our house.

The Slocum House has been providing live theatre for community entertainment for over 46 years!Slocum House Theatre has been a part of the downtown area since before it was nice to go downtown. The Slocum House was to be torn down for urban renewal in the 1960's. Robert Hidden did not want to see this happen. He tried desperately to find someone who could save the house. Hermine Decker, the theatre teacher at Clark College, asked if it could be a community theatre. The only theatre at that time was at the college. They decided it could be a theatre with lots of work and time and volunteers. The city gave us the southwest corner of Esther Short park. Esther Short gave the City of Vancouver the land for the park stating it was to only be used for a public meeting space, the Heart of a community. What other space would be better to have our first all volunteer community theatre. The house was moved by volunteers in 1965. The first show was in 1972. It took 4 years to make the house into a theatre. The house was in bad shape. All the work was done by volunteers in our community. To this day Slocum House Theatre has never had any employees. . We have kept this community theatre going over 46 years. And when we say "we", we mean all of you, our community, who has supported our theatre through your acting, your backstage work, your volunteering, and your patronage.

We plea to you now to write or call Vancouver city council members and let them know how important the Slocum House Theatre is to you. Send the word to them that art in our community is more important than greed. The city states that they have already been approached by a business that can afford their "market rates." This breaks our hearts... the thought of losing our chance of performing for your enjoyment, so that our lovely building can be used in this way.

Thanks for your continued support.
With warm regards,
Board of Directors
Slocum House Theatre

The City Council's phone number is: (360) 487-8629. You can ask directly for the mayor.

Here are the Council's individual emails:
Timothy D. Leavitt: Mayor E-mail Tim.Leavitt@cityofvancouver.us

Jeanne Harris: Council Member E-mail Jeanne.Harris@cityofvancouver.us

Jeanne E. Stewart: Council Member E-mail Jeanne.Stewart@cityofvancouver.us

Larry J. Smith: Council Member E-mail Larry.Smith@cityofvancouver.us

Pat Campbell: Council Member E-mail Pat.Campbell@cityofvancouver.us

Jack Burkman: Council Member E-mail jack.burkman@cityofvancouver.us

Bart Hansen: Council Member E-mail bart.hansen@cityofvancouver.us

A Humble Christmas List

2011-12-03T07:58:00.001-08:00

The Christmas/Birthday list for a Vancouver Family in need:

Cleaning supplies
Soap (liquid handsoap, dish soap, shampoo, etc)
Toilet paper, paper towels
Food
Gift cards to

LaDonna:
Size L clothes (comfortable, loose fitting)
Perfume
Art/crafting kits

Mom:
Size 2X clothes
Perfume
Hair accessories

Son:
Lego sets
art supplies
Regal movie money
Size 8/10 boys clothing
Size 3 shoe

I look over the list and it's really a simple and humble one. I look forward to seeing God bless them this season. If you'd like to help, just shoot me an email and we can set up a time to meet.

And on their behalf, thank you so much - your gift is a blessing from God!

So this is Christmas...

2011-11-29T09:53:00.001-08:00

So this is Christmas...

I cannot deny it: the weather is cool, the turkey is gone, and jingly bells are in all the songs I now listen to. Tell tale signs that it's Christmastime in the Denison household.

I just went to storage to return our one small autumn decor box and pull out four large Red & Green bins full of the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. I may change up a few things from year to year, but one of the best things about decorating is remembering where each thing goes: The garland above the picture window full of bright red poinsettias and twinkling lights, the mini tree with tiny homemade shrinky-dinks ornaments for our Jesse Tree Advent that livens up the kid's room, the lights that goes up and down the A-frame on our garage. They are traditions and you don't mess with tradition! That includes the Zoo Lights, sipping peppermint cocoa before picking out the perfect tree, fudge and cookies as we decorate the tree, and watching lots of Christmas movies! This is such a happy time for my family and me. We have so much.

Take that warm, happy image and put it aside. Picture instead a family of 3. This is a family made up of Grandma, Mom, and a sweet 2nd grade boy. The Grandma has serious health issues and cannot work. Mom is able to work full time at a small resale shop while her son attends Hazel Dell Elementary. Both Mom and Son have birthdays in December. And then it's Christmas. This should be a joyous time, but with nothing "under the tree" they try not to make a big deal of it. Turning 8 should be a time of celebration, but there's never been the funds for a party with school friends.

I know this family personally. I've known them for a year now and their situation is the same as it was last year. I see now that it may never really change significantly. When I decided last year to help facilitate a small donations call on their behalf I knew it couldn't be a one time deal. I knew I was just beginning to establish a relationship. And true relationships do not dissolve after one holiday. I've been able to keep in touch with this family through the year but after several months of no phone calls back and forth, I did finally receive one. The Grandma called me to ask, with shame in her voice, for help. I came over one day last week to give them a WINCo card to help with Thanksgiving, but being in so much pain my friend, the Grandma, was unable to get to the door to receive me. I left the card where she could find it and we spoke on the phone instead.

I say these things not to manipulate, but to illustrate the need that lives right here in our community. At first I didn't want to come to the same group of people I always go to for donations and help. I choose to first contact churches in the area, but they all pointed the mirror back to me: You can be the church. Now this is hard because I do not have a church body I'm plugged in with, nor am I able to financially help for much. But this doesn't mean I'm alone. I am blessed to know more people than I could count who would be willing to help. It doesn't matter if the donations come from one physical church. How silly of me to forget that we are the Church! Not a building. Not one community, even. I am happy to say that I know brothers and sisters in Christ across the globe!

I write this not only to let folks know there is a real need for 3 real people here in Vancouver, but also to document what the Lord can do. I cannot do this. I didn't do it last year, either. It was God and God alone who brought people together from across the globe to help this family and He can do it again (read about what happened last year here). If you would like to give to this family here in Vancouver, I will post again soon with specific needs. The donations go directly to them, I just get to play "Santa" and deliver them, a blessing all too great as the thanks I receive is poured out with tears and gratitude and I'm only the arms that brought them from my house to theirs. The thanks is all to God's glory. But I know that what we are offering them is more than a fun toy, a bag of food, or a gift card: it is hope. Hope that though much of what this world has brought them is pain, there is a day where all suffering will be gone and we will see the Christ child with our own eyes.

And that, dear friends, is Christmas.

Sum, Sum, Summer time Schedule

2011-06-23T00:22:00.000-07:00

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Where and Back Again, indeed! Where have I been? For those who know (and those who don't I suppose!) I started a crochet blog that has filled my creative outlet and taken up much of my time and energy. Though I'm completely hooked (ahem) on my yarn art, it's my day-by-day musings that have suffered. I realized tonight in conversations with friends I don't see often and who have so sweetly chosen to stop by this blog for my little updates, silly, serious or otherwise, that it has indeed been a while. So while I've been where, I am back again for an early summer posting!

I am excited for summer to start. It marks a new beginning. It also marks a transition. I will have time to ponder how my Kindergartener turned into a first grader in 2 months. How my nine-year-old has turned into such a terrific, polite, fun young man. And how it is possible for my daughter gets more beautiful each day. I need this time to think on these things, for they are mysteries I am willing to get to the bottom of.

I also know that these months can very quickly go from precious time with my children to stressful days where both kids and I wonder just how many more days until school starts up again. I never want for those thoughts to happen because of my own neglect, but I fear they are in large due to my lack of energy and involvement. I have observed this and vow to do better!

My big change this summer is to implement a schedule. Whoo-Hoo!

Now, I'm not the biggest organizational nut out there, but I certainly do thrive in an organized environment. For one, I have a household chores schedule that I keep pretty close to throughout the week. For two, I cannot relax knowing the kitchen is a disaster. And for three, socks on the floor do put me in a mood. So while these may be mild symptoms of a perfectionist/type a/first child, they are who I am and so instead of eschewing any sort of schedule because gosh darn it it's summer and we deserve some free time, I intend to find freedom in having a schedule! Freedom from bored children, freedom from grouchy mommies, freedom from choas! So here it is, the schedule I've posted and intend to enlighten my kids with on Friday:

SUMMER WEEKDAY SCHEDULE:
7:00 (if you are awake) Cartoons
8:00 Everyone up: Morning Chores (water deck plants, feed animals, unload dishwasher)
8:15 Breakfast
8:30 Clear dishes, shower, get dressed, brush teeth
9:00 Morning Exercise/ Scheduled Activity Out of the House
10:00 "
11:00 "
11:30 LUNCH
12:00 Rotation (computer, piano practice, wii or free time)
12:30 Rotation (computer, piano practice, wii or free time)
1:00 Rotation (computer, piano practice, wii or free time)
1:30 READ
2:00 Free time
3:00 "
3:30 GOALS/ Activity
4:00
4:30 Free time
5:00
5:30 Be Back Home
5:45 Evening chores (set table/help with dinner, weed garden, feed animals)
6:00 DINNER
6:30
7:00 Family time (board game, read aloud, play outside, as long as it's all together!)
8:00 Get cleaned up for bed
8:30 Youngsters to bed
9:00 Oldest to bed

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE SCHEDULE
1) A thing about goals: our family did a goal based summer last year that turned out great! Each kid choose something they wanted to learn/do/make this summer as well as the one activity I had planned for them to do and at the end of the summer the kids invited Grandmas and Grandpas to a "show and tell night" where they presented their very own handmade ABC books, showed off an art craft they had worked on for several weeks and ended with a magic show from our live-in magician (who has learned some new tricks for the occasion). It was magical :) Like the year end piano recital my kids just got done with tonight, this special Summer's End Show-And-Tell, helped them remember what they'd been doing all summer and to be proud of their hard work! So this year's GOALS segment of our schedule is to help facilitate that tradition.

2) Our ROTATION is based on my desire for the kids to get some "one kid only" time on things like wii and computer. Piano is in the rotation because I need one-on-one time during lessons with each child, so it works out well to fit that in there. I'm want my kids to learn to type as well as keep up with math skills and with so many free online resources out there, computer time will be both fun and educational. As for wii...well, for our family it is a precious gift to have a half hour of "just me on the wii" time, so if they deserve it, they'll get it then. Otherwise, wii is a very 2 player/decide together and don't argue about what game to play sort of thing. I don't want to always be the wii referee!

3) I know that everyday will NOT look this organized. For instance, we will be attending VBS which will not fit perfectly in my SCHEDULED ACTIVITY OUT time and there will be play dates with friends that will overlaps our GOALS/ACTIVITY time, but the wonderful thing about my schedule is that as long as I'm flexible it will be flexible! This is an "in general" sort of schedule. My goal is that while my kids are spending time doing things that are planned out for them, they will be looking forward to free time when they can go off and do their own thing for a bit, hopefully allowing them to not be "bored" so often! And with long term Goals, they will almost always have something to be working toward if those bored moments come!

I'm putting this up because I have found a ton of ideas online that brought me to this point. No small amount of this was due to Petunia June's post entitled Sieze the Summer. Other inspirations were found here and here. Also, I found a cute daily printout (hour by hour) here.

So this is a first attempt. Do you see any glaring errors? Things I've forgotten? What has worked for you? Let me know :)
~k

Break-in

2011-04-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

It wasn't the first time I'd been the first to discover a break-in.

I walked my kids to the bus stop today after a lovely, lazy 2 hour late start morning. As I returned to our driveway I noticed that the passenger door looked open. Ugh, it wouldn't be the first time the kids or I had not shut the door properly. Sure enough, it swung open but as I poked my head in to see if the dome light had been sucked of power (and thus I should prepare for a jump before my errands this morning) a wave of "someone has been here" swept over me. If you've been in my position, you understand. It's a combination of adrenaline and unfamiliarity that mixes with nausea that jolts into your system - even now my hands are a bit jittery. It's unlike any sensation I've experienced elsewhere and completely unique to this very personal intrusion. Invasion. Violation.

As the chemicals kicked up and began swirling in my head, my eyes bolted this way and that. My pill case I keep in my purse that must have fallen out, spilled of its contents across the floor. My son's bag he brought on our spring break vacation was zipped open (it was a nintendo ds case I'm sure they hoped contained said ds but we had only bought it from goodwill as a carrycase for snacks). Our auto insurance cards on the ground, Les Schwab receipts from tires along side, coloring books and misc toys thrown about. Even the garbage bag we keep, dumped out. Nothing was taken, that I could see. My Coldplay, U2 and Killers CDs were untouched (I guess they don't like my taste in music).

There has been an ongoing "crime spree" here as of late. First the ol' white van was egged. Oh well, I thought, teenagers up to no good. Then 2 of our cars driver side doors were kicked in. For both of these instances the cars were parked on the side of the street, but last night the van was in the driveway.

This is not the first time, nor will it be a last. Nobody was hurt. For this I am thankful. But they are getting bolder, closer. Police have been called, more patrols to be set up...

Where and Back Again is a place where I've let myself jot down thoughts of my journey. What I am continuing to learn is that this world is broken. We are broken people. It comes out in different ways, but all of creation is longing, groaning for the return of our King. For someone to fix us. Whether we know it or not, there is a Savior who has come to take away the sins of the world. He died. He rose again. He will return.

I anxiously await my King's return.

Markings

2011-03-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

I have 3 bibles. There's a teal covered NIV that was given to me by my parents on Christmas in 1993. I also have one with a worn pink cover and my name written in silver on the front given to me by Tim. And then there's the NLT with a deep crimson cover which was given to me from my Grandma Lohrer. She had my married name imprinted in gold on the cover and it is very special to me.

I seem to have these 3 bibles strewn across the house in no consistent place. I never know which one I'll find when I'm looking to read. These past few months, however, I've been in my oldest teal bible most consistently. I am going through Proverbs and journaling. Before the journaling begins, I mark up the verses I find that strike a chord with me and only after that do I go to my little journal to process what I've read.

I've done this all through out my life, and thus have many a marking in my various bibles. When I have no agenda for what to read, sometimes I flip through the ultra thin pages and stop when I see those markings. Sometimes the markings have dates along with them and bring back memories of a particular time in my life. Several of them have handwritten words of praise or pain in the margins. And some are simply circled or underlined and draw my attention as I flip the pages. In any case, I am glad that my bible isn't pristine. The underlinings tell a story; it's the story of my life and, even greater and immeasurably more epic, the story of my God and how he has reconciled us to Him.

This June Sean will turn 6 and get his very own Bible. He will be old enough to be gentle with the pages and can read it himself. All 3 will have their very own bible then (they are getting so old)! I am reminded that I should encourage them to keep a pen near their bibles and do their own markings as they read. How marvelous it would be to open a bible of my elementary days and see what I was learning about God then! To look back and see which verses were underlined, what words were jotted in the margins. The word of God is living and active, sharper than any 2 edged sword. I wouldn't be surprised in the least to learn that the verses of my youth are the same ones that bring comfort and strength to me now. I know that I've read and reread those pages just to have them bring deeper understanding, add to my longing, and increase my understanding.

So to that I say: Mark on!

Cabbage!

2011-03-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a while since I've posted...shocking for me, I know. I am such a wishy-washy blogger! And while I've started many a post and published nary a one in 2 months, I've finally found a topic worthy of my time:
Cabbage.

Just look at it. Isn't it the cutest vegetable EVER? I mean, no wonder chubby, powder fresh smelling, cute dimpled kids come out of these flowery greens! You've gotta admit that it's pretty cute as far as veggies go.

I procured this sweet little cabbage from Safeway this morning. At 50 cents a pound and St. Patty's day just around the corner, I thought it fitting. Now, I didn't grow up eating corned beef and cabbage ('it's magically delicious!'...that's for all you Brian Regan fans out there), so it never really crossed my mind to ever buy these two items. Now, Tim and I, we are a bit infatuated with all things Irish and after visiting Boston where we enjoyed some traditional Irish fare, Tim got the urge to give corned beef a try. After a bit of research and some help from the meat department at Safeway, we found out that the wonderful spices and very salty brine the beef is marinading in needs to have an opportunity to evaporate during the cooking process, else the beef be way too salty for the eating. So then the question was to boil or to crock pot it. Since boiling meat seems so odd to us who like to bake in the oven, we opted for the crock pot. This method, for us, turned out a rather dry and stringy flat of beef. It held it's corned beef flavor, if a bit salty, but was edible. A healthy amount of Guiness with which to wash it down was necessary, however.

Try #2: Tim boiled the corned beef. It simmered for several hours and filled the house with spicy yumminess (at this I think of my dear sister who lives above some Irish folk. I believe she gets to smell this more often than she'd like ;). The boiled version turned out very well. Tim also sauteed big onion slices, slightly caramelizing them, and we spread some horseradish stone ground mustard across a black rye bread and went to town.

It will now be an annual event in the Denison household. The price of corned beef "off season" is a bit pricey, so it may only be a March food for us, but that just makes it all the more special.

So this year I've furthered our meal's authenticity as I have purchased a head of cabbage. However, having no prior experience with cabbage, I'm at a loss as what to do with it! My mind leans towards making it into a slaw, but perhaps I should try steamed with a sprinkle of salt.

So I ask you....What are your favorite ways to eat cabbage?

~k

An object of His Mercy

2011-01-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

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CJ Coffee brought the Word last night. According to God's goodness, I was there, at the Well in Portland, to hear the Truth that I needed to hear and in such a way as I cannot shake it. It started in Malachai 1 and swept back to Genesis and up through Romans 9.

The summary that I write down is not meant as a preaching to others, for I will never be able to present it in the congruent, meaningful way that I heard it, but so I can look back and be reminded of this: I am an object of God's mercy.

Highlights that are meaningful to me:
Jacob have I loved, Esau I have hated
Before the twins were born, before they could do right or wrong, God choose the one who would rule over the other and, shockingly, it was to be the younger.
God's election is absolutely linked to his sovereign rule and control of this place and these people.
Who am I to question this to God? If it were anything, anyone else I was asking this of, I would become indignant. But I am asking this of myself to God, whose character I absolutely know is trustworthy; the One who put the stars and planets in alignment, and who made me, and my beautiful family. His goodness is the same as His justice is the same as His love: Perfect. Who am I?
Can God, as the potter, make use of one jar to show off His mercy, and one jar to show off His wrath? Of course He may! He chooses, that it is not of our works, but by His choice.
This, instead of making me anxious, has freed me: For my family, if it were up to this dumb mouth to perfectly proclaim the gospel and it's meaning, there would be no hope! But, praise God, it is not! While I can be used and will be held accountable for just that, it is not up to me whether they believe. It is God's choice! My prayer that they are also an object of God's mercy seems more appropriate than shoving a Bible at them! God's Sovereign Election is a balm to me! It has released me from my prison of thought at why we are where we are! For 2 years! May it be 20 if that's what God has chosen for this jar! I am willing to be used for ignoble purposes if it pours out and displays better the Glory of God! Because in doing so, I am actually being used for the most noble thing (what a thought)! The things of this world are FOOLISHNESS! That I am looked at to be pitied for my circumstances now makes me laugh! FOOLISHNESS! The wisdom of my God outweighs what emphasis I've wrongly put on this world's foolishness.

I confess that and am ready to revel in God's greatest blessing: That I am an object of, not His wrath, but His mercy.

And it wasn't of my own doing. Not of works. Indeed of that I can never boast! When I wonder "How has God shown me this love?" I can see that it would be enough just to know that He has choose me. Malachai reminds me that I wasn't destroyed, like Edom. I was chosen. IF that was all, that would be enough. But even now I see so many other blessings in my life as I can see that the Bible speaks true about God's mercy AND overflowing blessings for those who He chose. Who am I? An object of his mercy. Praise God!

Eat, Work on Resolutions, Love

2011-01-05T09:57:00.000-08:00

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I didn't consciously make any resolutions this year and yet I have found myself exercising each morning, organizing the piles that have been in the same place for 2 months and even flossing my teeth daily. There is something about a new year (and having the kids back in school) that seems a good time to re-establish good habits.

If I ever needed a resolution, however, it would be closely linked to my communication with God. It is a struggle that I have had for as long as I can remember. I can make time to read books on God, make time to go to church, make time to read scripture even, but my one on one talks with God have been few and far between. And for some reason the last 2 years have been no exception. Even when my need hasn't been greater, I feel that it is the hardest to want to even approach my Heavenly Abba.

I pondered this on Monday, during some quiet time I had washing dishes. Why is it that I don't come constantly to His throne, imploring Him to acknowledge our plight? Why can't I be the persistent widow? I have example enough around me of what persistence gets (ahem...my attention, snacks, books read to them) that I have no excuse to not realize the power of Jesus' parable. Why am I so reluctant to come to my loving and providing God? Mealtime prayer isn't lacking in sincerity and is a good example to the kids. Praying with them throughout Advent season was wonderful. But again, I can't seem to bring myself to say much in my quiet time other than, "help me today!"

Then a thought came to me. Was it my own, or a question from my Savior put into my mind, I don't know. I asked "Am I afraid He won't answer?" What would I do if I did ask? What if I asked every day. Every moment our situation came to mind, which is often? What if I did this for 2 years and nothing ever changed? I am afraid. The thought that God would let us endure the hardships while I pleaded that He throw us a life preserver and pull us from this sinking boat, is it too much to bear? Right now I can blame myself. "Well, I haven't asked Him to pull me out often enough. I haven't persistently pleaded with God about these things, so I can see why I'm still here." It's not that I don't believe God hears me in the times I do come to Him. I know He KNOWS what we are going through and is even allowing us to be here. But when I am crushed under the weight of it all, I feel an unhealthy comfort "knowing" I can blame myself. I don't want to blame God.

And yet, I know He KNOWS.

I do want to come to Him more. That is something I must simply commit to learning the discipline of. But I'm afraid, too. Afraid I won't have anyone to blame but God. It's safe to blame myself, but blame God?? Maybe 2011 will find us out of this particular situation. But even if it doesn't, am I okay coming to Him and asking "why?" No, I'm not. Not until I've spent ample time coming to Him and asking Him to first forgive my controlling nature. Not until I've been on my knees day after day humbling myself to His Glorious Truth.

"On my knees I think clearer"
Chocolate, by Snow Patrol

Playing Santa

2010-12-17T22:15:00.000-08:00

I got to deliver ALL the AMAZING gifts that several of you have contributed to LaDonna and her family today.

LaDonna was overwhelmed to the point of tears.

But let me back up a bit:
After my post, I received so many presents for the first grade boy that I was able to hand over 4 gifts for his birthday last weekend. LaDonna called specially to tell me that he was so excited to get new toys. Having been given mostly hand-me-downs his whole life, I was told he couldn't stop playing with the brand new lego sets :) And the pair of shoes fit just right!Thank you thank you thank you, on behalf of Kahleel!

I also gave her the Wal-Mart gift card that day. I wanted to be sure she would have time to use it this month with Kristine's birthday coming up the following weekend. She was overwhelmed.

Moving forward to today:
After rescheduling twice, I loaded up my van with several boxes of toiletries, paper goods, and food staples along with several bags of wrapped presents. At 10 a.m. I drove over and saw LaDonna. She could hardly speak for surprise as I first brought in the boxes of hygiene items. They were just what their family needed. Specifically she held up a soap dispenser and told me how she had wanted just that one! Hand soap! She saw the toothbrushes and toothpaste and we laughed together as she said that these small things are presents enough for her!

But that wasn't all! A festive poinsettia and candles to help bring Christmas decor inside were the point of her awe next. And then the presents. We drove up behind her place where their garage is and I proceeded to unload the presents. She wanted to keep them out of sight until Christmas and I tried to bag them together so they could be easily moved back into the house and set next to the small pre-lit Christmas tree they'd just been given by a neighbor. I told her that I was the lucky one, the one who got to "play santa" and that there were several families who were loving on her by giving these things. We spoke of God's amazing blessing. Of how she though she knew Christmas wasn't about material things, having anything at all under the tree was a source of stress that they felt melt away today. I hugged her long on behalf of everyone who blessed them this Christmas.

I pray that all of you are blessed, too, knowing that your special gift, be it snuggly robe, applesauce or laundry detergent, won't be worn/used/eaten without thinking of how much God loves them.

Merry Christmas!

The Clean Up Day

2010-12-08T21:24:00.000-08:00

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I was so thankful that I had Mom with me today.God heard my anxious voice and reminded me that when you serve Him together, there is a blessing and bond that forms. I was blessed to have not been alone and I feel closer to my wonderful mom!

We arrived at 8:30 and La Donna's daughter answered the door. La Donna wasn't up yet (gulp! we had arranged this a few days ago!!) As she went up to wake LaDonna we noticed immediately that the house was in a completely different sort of need of cleaning that I originally planned for. I came with buckets of comet and anti bacterial wipes, swiffers and dustpans, but what I really needed was boxes and muscles! There was hardly any surface that needed cleaned because each and every available surface was covered with stuff. Apparently when they moved there a year and a half ago, the families were combining 2 different households and the result is hardly any seating and lots of stuff. In all the stuff, there was one box ready to be given away. When we opened it, we saw a total of 3 mugs inside. This was going to be a challenge.

Mom and I listened to stories as LaDonna eased into the morning with coffee, a cigarette and pain killers. She is in a lot of pain in the morning and confessed to us that it's much later in the day when she can even feel up to getting things taken care of around the house. Mom and I, eager to start in and do SOMETHING, jumped into the kitchen and did the best we could with the dishes and counter tops.

The main room must be the little boy's sleeping quarters as well. The futon is piled high with blankets and clothes and the room has small pieces of furniture all around covered with this and that. This room is the also the "dining room" and was where the table and chairs would go when the men who are helping me tomorrow bring it in. But where are they going to go?? Mom and I encouraged her to tag some things that we could move into her garage just out back and we successfully moved lots of neglected toys, knick knacks, and other misc. stuff. It did look better, but still there is lots to be done tomorrow for that table and chairs to fit in (and for all the presents!)

I am going to Whipple Creek Church to grab a bunch of food they are donating (and I plan to find a Bible they'll let me give away) and then Tim, my Dad, and I will come truck ready to do whatever we can. If it's to get that table and chairs, then so be it!

More than anything, I felt LaDonna happy to have someone to talk to. For now it's sort of centered around her story, but I hope that in time she will see how her story fits into the bigger story of redemption and salvation! She says she believes she is blessed by God, and she is. To be near family and provided for, even in the midst of much pain and physical suffering, she truly is. I hope her words are true to her heart, and not just want she thinks I want to hear. Either way, I know she and her daughter and grandson will feel His love this season. And God has used so many of you to make that happen.

Oh, that God uses us!
We who are broken and frail
Blessed are we that a mustard seed of faith is all He requires
For Him to do amazing things
That in confessing our weakness, He gives us strength
That in comforting the hurting, we ourselves are comforted
And in giving, we see what has been given
Oh, that God uses us!

Family in Need: Updated

2010-11-21T00:15:00.000-08:00

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I'm overwhelmed! Thank you for your immediate response. This is going to be amazing!! I wanted to let folks know when some of the items we only need one have already been received or at least committed to get. Also, I spoke again with Grandma today to check up on them and get clothing sizes. The updated info is in purple:

A 7 year-old boy, his mother and diabetic grandmother living together in an apartment near Hazel Dell could be blessed in these ways:

Good working toaster ***Commitment***
Futon Frame (or decent couch) ***COMMITMENT***
Silverware ***COMMITMENT***
Personal Hygiene (body soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, etc)
Laundry Soap
Paper Towels
Food
Gift Cards (target, grocery)
Christmas presents for the boy (pant size 8, shirt size 10-12, legos, art supplies, books, stuffed animals)
Christmas presents for the mom & grandma (nothing specifically requested, but I'd love to have a few pretty things wrapped for them, too)

***SIZES:

Grandma: 12 pants (elastic waist desirable), M/L shirts, size 8 1/2 shoes

Mom: 3X pant/shirts, size 9 1/2 shoes

Son: 8 boys pants, 10/12 boys shirts, size 1 kids shoes (needs new shoes)

I am going to collect items here at my home for a couple weeks and then transport everything to their apartment mid-December so they can prepare to have a wonderful Christmas. If you'd like to gift wrap any items, that is wonderful, just be sure to tag it with who it goes to.

Email me if you have any further questions!

Missed the story? You can read it here

Blessed are the poor

2010-11-19T09:01:00.000-08:00

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Thursday night was Walnut Grove Elementary's Barnes & Noble night. Most classes do a little song or skit for the parents and they have tables set out with brain teaser type games for them to play. My co-chair for the art contest we are promoting and I decided to set up a table on this night to answer questions parents might have for us, as the due date for the contest is fast approaching.

We got a few interested parents here and there, but it was mostly a quiet night at our table. I decided to branch out a bit and make conversation with folks who seemed to want to talk. There was a Russian lady who spoke a while with me about the differences between Russia and America. There were kids I knew from Simon's baseball team who came to say "hi".

And then there was LaDonna. LaDonna was obviously not well. She was hunched over so much she was dragging her purse on the ground. She was dressed nicely, hair done, make up on, but looked much in pain. She came over and started talking about the art contest and how her grandson could get involved. It came out that although her daughter couldn't bring her 7 year old son, she, the grandmother, tried to bring him to events (when she felt well enough) because there just wasn't that much to do at their small place. She said they had no computer and though he got to play at some after school group until 6pm, he was always sad at home because he was "so bored." I, of course, thought the art contest could be a nice diversion for this boy, so we talked more about it.

She then continued on to let me know that she was not well (an observation anyone could have made), diabetic as well, and gave me several indicators that it was very hard to make ends meet. She doesn't work. The daughter works at a thrift store and there are no men in the picture. I was immediately touched and after meeting her grandson, I knew I wouldn't be able to forget this family. Then she said she was intending to go to the Salvation Army and ask about the possibility of getting some Christmas presents for her grandson this year. I didn't even blink. "I know people who would love to bless you this Christmas,'' I said. I did a short interview of what they really could use around the house and what the boy needed. She enough felt bad asking us to keep an eye out for a frame for their futon, or a decent couch because they didn't have much to sit on. I told her God can do anything and we'd see what we could find. She smiled and said that the only thing that has kept her going was her faith. I don't know just what that means to her, she mentioned no church or other support system. I just knew it was the right thing for me to do. I didn't feel a rush of adrenaline or any physical sign of the Spirit moving me. I just felt like me. I knew what I had to do, what information to get and afterwards, she reached up as high as she could and hugged me, crying tears of joy.

After this I marvelled at what I'd just done. Who am I to be initiating a charity event? But immediately it came to mind: 'Why wouldn't you?' After all, it is a command to take care of the widows that family isn't able to attend to. And at Christmas when everyone feels an urge to give to the less fortunate, but often don't know exactly how or who to give to. And then Tim reminded me that I could offer on going support for their family since I know how to contact the state about food assistance and health and whatnot. Whipple Creek Church is near where they live and I can point this family to them as a place for spiritual support.

The long and short of it is God had me there that night for a reason! I can't do it all, by any means. I can't be everything to them. But God can, and He uses His people. I pray passionately that this comes across in blessing them: That God is good all the time and that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Blessed are the poor for they will see God!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If God is moving in your heart to give to this family here is the list of items they could really use:

[from an email I sent several of you already]

A 7 year-old boy, his mother and diabetic grandmother living together in an apartment near Hazel Dell could be blessed in these ways:

Good working toaster
Futon Frame (or decent couch)
Personal Hygiene (body soap, toilet paper, toothpaste, etc)
Laundry Soap
Paper Towels
Food
Gift Cards (target, grocery)
Christmas presents for the boy (pant size 8, shirt size 10-12, legos, art supplies, books, stuffed animals)
Christmas presents for the mom & grandma (nothing specifically requested, but I'd love to have a few pretty things wrapped for them, too)

I am going to collect items here at my home for a couple weeks and then transport everything to their apartment mid-December so they can prepare to have a wonderful Christmas. If you'd like to gift wrap any items, that is wonderful, just be sure to tag it with who it goes to.

Email me if you have any further questions!

Disneyland NEW

2010-11-16T17:31:00.001-08:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Curiouser and Curiouser (day 2)

2010-11-10T10:42:00.000-08:00

Tuesday morning arrived early, but spirits were high. As Tim's Dad reminded us, "It's a nice day when you wake up in Disneyland!" Agreeing wholeheartedly with the Five for Fighting lyric, these Five for Disney headed off to the park via bus shuttle (to save our already tired feet for a day). We had gotten in early for their "magical morning" with our hopper passes (after some help from our wonderful gate lady, God bless her) and headed straight to Fantasyland and the ever popular Peter Pan ride. We had just watched the Pan battle Hook a week before and it is absolutely a favorite of every Disney-goer. The line is always a bigger one, but moves quickly. We soared over London and the stars and landed our pixie dust covered boat safely and decided to then step into Tomorrowland.

Buzz Lightyear awaited us with his AstroBlaster ride. The five of us blasted Zurg and his minions, Tim beating all our scores with a little trick he shared with me after the fact :) Tim was then eager to try Space Mountain and the boys were game. Eowyn, however, was horrified at the thought of a super fast rollercoaster in the dark. I couldn't blame her and so Mom and Daughter went back to Buzz to try and beat our old score. Check out Sean's face:

Eowyn and I then rode the Dumbo-esque Astro Orbiter and then met up with the boys to hear about how awesome Space Mountain was (Tim, however, thought it less awesome than previous memory held). We walked further into Tomorrowland just in time to watch a Jedi Academy Training Session. Just before the show started, Tim went off to find coffee for us at the Main Street Shop where we could get free refill later. The hotel coffee was horrible and although it was creeping up to the high 90's I didn't want to get a no-caffeine headache. In the meantime I quickly made up a sign for Simon to hold, hoping he'd get picked as a trainee and at the last moment, he did! We now have a genuine Padawan along with his classmates, and proud we are of all of them.

Yes, he even got to battle face-to-face with Darth Vader!

Intrigued by the monorail that we could see passing across the street from our hotel, we hopped aboard. It runs to Downtown Disney and back to Tomorrowland. A few more advantageous stops around the park would be helpful, but alas, just the two. At the Downtown Disney stop, we were detained due to some malfunction. It was already super warm by this time and there was no circulating air inside our car. But it got up and running again and the kids were ready for another actual RIDE. But for this we were again divided. I wanted to do the new Nemo Submarine Ride and Sean was all about the Matterhorn Bobsleds. So we split. I took Eowyn and Simon and Tim took the Bean who rode twice by the time we finished in our submarine ride, which had one of the longest lines we had encountered during our time at the park. But worth it!

Eager to get to another THRILL ride, we headed to Adventure Land to the Indiana Jones Ride. This, unfortunately, was having technical difficulties so we headed over to do some shopping and Eowyn decided to adopt a python. With her new friend wrapped around her neck, we headed to hear the birdies at the 'Tikki, Tikki, Tikki, Tikki, Tikki Room' during which Tim ran off to grab a FastPass for Splash Mountain.

United again, we headed to the Jungle Cruise (snake now in lap).

The kids were ready to cool off so with our FastPasses due, we ran over to Splash where we passed up a whole line of folks thinking the same thing. Yay for FastPass!

Next door was the psychadelic Winnie the Pooh Ride. Eowyn, again, was hesitant, but it was a friendly ride:)

From Blogger Pictures

We were all ready for lunch and knew that one of these days the Turkey Leg As Big As Your Head was going to have to be bought, so along with some lemonades, we got our drumsticks and bussed home to gobble them up (along with a free coffee refill off Main Street! Gotta love disboard for tips like that!).

From Blogger Pictures

After a refreshing lunch and trip to the pool, we dried off and shuttled back to Disney, this time getting our free "First Visit" buttons for the kids to wear. We had promised Simon that Toontown was first on our list for the afternoon!

Tim's most favorite toontown ride was down (boo!) but even without Roger Rabbit's Crazy Cabs the kids had fun exploring the silliness of toontown.

From Blogger Pictures

We shrunk down to the size of a chipmunk and rode Gadget's Rollercoaster. Sean protested because the fun rollercoaster lasted about 40 seconds from start to finish. We tried to explain that it was a ride for small kids who may not be able to do longer rides, but he was adamant that it should be longer. So we went through twice.

Toontown was explored so we decided to go back to Splash Mountain and had all new pictures to document our favorite family ride...twice! (Note Tim's "jazz hands")

From Blogger Pictures

(silly Dad!)

From Blogger Pictures

Adventure Land was next and Tim had earlier grabbed some Fast Passes that were now ready to be used for Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. Eowyn was not happy about it and I understood why. Although we had a Fast Pass, the line was long and waiting in the queue there were eery sights and loud sounds at random times. Spikes appearing to come piercing out of the ceiling didn't win her over, either. But our little trooper held on to her daddy and eventually got seat belted into the jeep that would take us on this adventure.

Poor dear! She screamed all throught the LOUD, BUMPY and DARK ride! At times bugs appeared and snakes and of course a giant rolling ball (which, unfortunately wasn't lit properly...you could hardly see it). As we finished and headed out we asked Eowyn about the ride. She said she hated everything except for the giant snake and the end!

I had promised we'd get Sean the one toy we promised to get him that he'd eyed in Tomorrowland (a LoopdeLoop Buzz Lightyear hotwheels track & toy) Simon has continue to just take in all the sights of the shops and has not yet decided what to spend his money on. We shuttled home.

Grannie and Auntie G came to our room to babysit while Tim and I used a coupon from restaurant.com I bought for $2.00 to eat at The House of Blues at Downtown Disney. It was fun to have a date with my husband and we enjoyed some gumbo, jambalaya, shrimp po' boy and adult beverages. When we returned Mom said the kids were conscious for about 10 minutes before they crashed. Awww! It was a wonderful end to a very full day! Disneyland seems to agree with us. Hmmmm....Curiouser and curiouser!

From Blogger Pictures

Alice Falls through the Rabbit Hole

2010-11-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

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DISCLAIMER: this ended up being more of a play-by-play of our vacation ride for ride, emotions and all. Perhaps a bit wordy for a blog ;) But Tim and I want to look back in the years to come and remember everything...so here we go!

November 1st 2010. 4 a.m. Alarm goes off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDYVgkXceL0

From rainy PDX to sunny LGB

We catch a shuttle van to Howard Johnson hotel and get settled in our room.

A quick bit of R&R and off we go to DISNEYLAND!!!!

October's Halloween decor still adorned the main gates and as we passed under the sign "HERE YOU LEAVE TODAY AND ENTER THE WORLD OF YESTERDAY TOMORROW AND FANTASY" I felt like after our years of saving for this trip, we had finally arrived in our Wonderland. Main Street was magical but Sean insisted we weren't actually in Disneyland until we walked through the castle. We stopped to take a few quick pictures, walked across the drawbridge and now everyone agreed: we had arrived!

The kids knew that Disneyland was full of rides and we had already delayed enough on this point so we quickly got in line for what was to be the kids' first ride in Disneyland: Pinocchio's Daring Journey. We had prepped for Disney the week prior by watching several Disney movies, this one included. The ride reminded us of loving Geppetto, wise Jiminy Cricket, and the clever evil villians who mislead the naive little wooden boy-puppet. It was a Daring Journey for our first ride! So daring, in fact, that Eowyn didn't know if she wanted to go on any other rides at Disneyland...EVER! This would be a constant struggle throughout the trip.

The iconic Dumbo ride was next:

Followed by the carousel to find out who was next in line for King Arthur's Throne:

We then got a in touch with Grannie and Auntie G who met us at the Mad Hatter's Hat Shop.

Agreeing to share a caterpillar we went through Alice's Wonderland (one of Tim's favorites), then it was off to the Teacups where Auntie G came to the rescue when Tim and I didn't want to spin ourselves silly (look for the red-orange teacup)!

We did the Matterhorn Bobsleds (Sean LOVED it) while Eowyn opted out with patient Auntie G. Storybook Land was fun and much changed since last Tim and I saw it 6 years ago. Grannie and Auntie G then went their own way while we tromped off to Frontier Land to what was to be one of our all-time favorite rides (Eowyn included) - Big Thunder Mountain.

After the rush of Thunder we were pretty wiped-out so we decided to grab Mickey ice creams and walk back to the hotel to crash.

The hotel had a pool the kids and I took advantage of while Tim walked a ways to find a place for snacks where milk and a bag of chips didn't cost $20.00. Then it was back to Disneyland for our first magical evening at the park.

After Monday, Pirates of the Carribean was going to be closed for 2 days, so we went down to New Orleans where our boat, Jack Sparrow, and Davy Jones' Locker awaited us.

Next we used a FastPass that Tim had procured earlier in the day to get right on Splash Mountain. We tried to rush pass the big briar patch out front where the big "splash" happens (so as not to alarm Eowyn) but it was too late. Her eyes big and round ask "Are we doing THAT??!!" With much coaxing (and a whole lot of rushing to distract her) we get into our log and enjoy the start of my favorite ride. Thankfully it starts calm and even though Eowyn's in the very front, she seems alright. Then we get to Slippery Falls and a few more little dips that shower us with cool water. We happily watch the adventures of Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox and then the music turns minor...there are vultures telling us just where to find our own laughing place...then we creep
up, up, up and..........

SPLASH!!!!!

I had mixed emotions of joy and anxiousness for my dear little girl as we sailed through Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah until I realize she's smiling. Eowyn turns around and says " Let's do it AGAIN!!!" We would do just that in the days to come :)

After Splash we climbed through Tarzan's Treehouse and ended our first day with a return to Big Thunder Mountain. Who knew my kids would love the big thrill rides?

We walked back to the hotel and grabbed a McDonald's dinner (vowing not to eat there everyday) and crashed. Sean wasn't even out of his day clothes before the sandman got to him.

Our first day at Disneyland as a family was a beaming success!

Two Years

2010-10-02T23:30:00.001-07:00

..........view from the Penske that moved us back..........

October 1st. It has come and gone again. For me it is an anniversary of sorts, reminding me of our move back to the Northwest from Denver. This year marks our second year back.

Two years and a lot has happened. It seems an eternity in some ways, and the blink of an eye in others. Such is life. As so many have I, too, find that it carries on whether I'm ready for it to or not!

Just the other day I was asking Tim about one of the main highways in Denver.
"What was that road we took into Littleton from the mountains?" I asked.
"Littleton?" He replied.
"No, uh...Highlands Ranch." I corrected, "You know the main highway...4 something."
"405?"
"That's here, Babe."
"Four..."
"Seventy!"
"Yes, C-470." A measured silence occurred as we both had vivid images run past our eyes; memories long forgotten.
"C-470." The cadence of it like a sweet poem that we hadn't heard in two years. Amazing what comes to mind when you remember the name of a long forgotten freeway!

And our children have similar memories. They are so good at living in the now, but there are whispers of some far off familiar thing, but it's a vapor. Not solid. Sean recently asked if we've only ever lived in the house we are currently in. Upon hearing his question, I promptly grab my three Colorado born babies and show them pictures otherwise. "Oh yeah, I remember..." they say.

Simon, of course, remembers the most. "When do we get to visit Colorado, Mom?" I know he longs to reconnect with his best friend, Paul. I want to be able to tell him "soon" but family trips cost money and need to be planned. I do promise him, "We will go visit, Si. We will."

Two years, though! Gone so fast! In two years I've made wonderful new memories. New movies have come out that I didn't know about two years ago. New albums with songs that will forever be the soundtrack for this time of my life. Our kids are two years older. I'm two years older.

Two years. If it wasn't for anniversaries would we remember to pause and evaluate? Ask ourselves: For better or worse, what have I done? What am I doing well? What am I going do differently?

I get stuck thinking to myself this Swell Season lyric:
"Okay, I'm not what I promised you I would become/I know, we're not where I promised you we'd be by now."

It's easy to think of all the uncertainties and think of them as bad. We are still without a church family we can call our own. No steady job. A shared home. It's hard. I thought two years would look differently. The first year, was understood to be a transitional one, but the second? These are hard questions to be asking.

Has good come out of these two years? Absolutely. Reconnecting with my family and friends. Having a neighborhood where my kids can run around and play with friends. Making memories with Grandmas and Grandpas. Learning that I can get plugged into a church again. That I can start up my piano lesson business again. That I can still make new friends (it's harder now that I'm older!) Again, again, again. Another reminder that this thing we do, life, is a journey. And of how I'm never going to "arrive". These location changes, temporary home situations, job transitions..it'll always be something.

It's a journey.

So now I take this moment to praise God for who He is because He doesn't change. He's not in transition. Nor has He ever been temporary. He's only ever been Constant. And my Constant God is in control. He is in control and has given me a job to do. And it doesn't matter where I am, or how temporary my situation seems to be because my job is laid out plainly before me. First, as a Child of God. I am to praise Him and bring forth His kingdom. Second, as a wife. Third, as a mother. These I am to be to my fullest no matter my circumstances. And the certainty of that is wonderfully comforting.

Speaking of songs that will be forever associated with this year, I'll wrap up this entry with this amazing lyric:

"It's not how you start it's how you finish
And it's not where you're from it's where you're at.

Everybody gets knocked down/Everybody gets knocked down
How quick are you gonna get up?
...

It's not where you are it's where you're going
Where are you going?
And it's not about the things you've done it's what you're doing now
What are you doing now?

Everybody gets knocked down/Everybody gets knocked down
How quick are you gonna get up?"
~The Hours: Ali in the Jungle

Conkers

2010-09-24T14:31:00.001-07:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year! I can say that because it is now (not Christmas) FALL! Cool, clear days, trees changing color, leaves falling, and there is now a drive in me to bake all things PUMPKIN! I always think that Col. Brandon's line from Sense & Sensibility also speaks true of autumn when he says "The air is full of spices." I've even indulged in my first pumpkin spice latte of the season!

We took the kids out to Couch Park last night and I was reminded of the charm of Portland's urban parks. How I wish we could more quickly get to one! Located at NW 19th Ave & NW Glisan St, Couch Park features a playground, basketball court, dog off-leash area, paved paths, on-site art, and WiFi. The green space is beautifully and uniquely laid out. The trees tower over the place structures and leaves fall over the paths. But leaves are not the only thing to fall in Couch Park. Let me introduce to you the common horse chestnut.

Here's a description from botanical.com (pay attention to the last paragraph, which I have bolded):

The trunk of the tree is very erect and columnar, and grows very rapidly to a great height, with widely spreading branches. The bark is smooth and greyish green in colour: it has been used with some success in dyeing yellow. The wood, being soft and spongy, is of very little use for timber.

It is often used for packing-cases.

The sturdy, many-ribbed boughs and thick buds of the Horse Chestnut make it a conspicuous tree even in winter. The buds are protected with a sticky substance: defended by fourteen scales and gummed together, thus no frost or damp can harm the leaf and flower tucked safely away within each terminal bud, which develops with startling rapidity with the approach of the first warm days after the winter. The bud will sometimes develop the season's shoot in the course of three or four weeks. The unfolding of the bud is very rapid when the sun melts the resin that binds it so firmly together.

The large leaves are divided into five or seven leaflets, spreading like fingers from the palm of the hand and have their margins finely toothed. All over the small branches may be found the curious marks in the shape of minute horse-shoes, from which, perhaps, the tree gets its name. They are really the leaf scars. Wherever a bygone leaf has been, can be traced on the bark a perfect facsimile of a horse-shoe, even to the seven nail markings, which are perfectly distinct. And among the twigs may be found some with an odd resemblance to a horse's foot and fetlock.

The flowers are mostly white, with a reddish tinge, or marking, and grow in dense, erect spikes. There is also a dull red variety, and a less common yellow variety, which is a native of the southern United States, but is seldom seen here.

The fruit is a brown nut, with a very shining, polished skin, showing a dull, rough, pale-brown scar where it has been attached to the inside of the seed-vessel, a large green husk, protected with short spines, which splits into three valves when it falls to the ground and frees the nut.

Now take a closer look at the fruit encasement:

Those things drop - ker PLUNK! - onto the play structure, pathway, and seating area, splitting the spiky shells open to reveal the horse chestnut inside. I first became away of them as I heard several of those ker PLUNKs and saw a bit of movement out from my peripheral. It took me a while to realize what had happened. But, it wasn't long before I saw excited children going to gather them up. Adults came and encouraged the downpour of these small potential impalers by kicking soccer balls up into the tree, much to the children's delight. It was quite a thing to behold.

Fascinated I had to come and look up these things and found out that the chestnut (not edible) is used in the game Conkers. Mainly played in Britain and Ireland, children thread the chestnut onto a long string and take turns striking each other's chestnut until one breaks. Those of you who know me know that I love Charlie and Lola and I remember this game being depicted in the show during the autumn episodes.

Also in my research I found that Conkers may be one of those things lost in the next generation. Here I just found out about this British pastime and according to telegraph.co.uk I could miss out! They say that within a generation the following British pastimes will be all but extinct:
Wearing Sunday Best
Having Elevenses
Afternoon Tea
Keeping a Diary
Handwritten letters
Conkers
Hop Scotch
Hide and Seek

All of a sudden I feel the need to wear my Sunday best today, write my mom a letter, sip some tea and run down to Couch Park and grab some conkers!

~k

Spacer

2010-09-15T14:07:00.001-07:00

~kari

Word Picture

2010-09-15T14:01:00.000-07:00

Oh to ~Grace~

how great a debtor

**daily** I'm constrained to be

Let Thy Goodness

like a fetter bindmywanderinghearttoThee

Prone to

w a n d e r

Lord, i *feel* it

Prone to leave the

GOD I LOVE

Take my heart, LORD,...................!

Take and seal it, ........................e

Seal it for .............................v

Thy ..................................o

courts ...........................b

.................................a

First Day

2010-09-11T09:00:00.001-07:00

Hair was newly cut. School supplies were bought and placed neatly in backpacks. New clothes set out ready to be worn. Baths taken. And then it finally came: Wednesday marked the first day of elementary school for all three of our kids. It was a momentous occasion for us all!

Highlights of the morning were:

*Eating donuts for breakfast & praying together

*Sean getting to ride the bus (finally!)

*Eowyn finding out she had the same class with BFF Sahara

*Simon being absolutely comfortable (he's an "upper-class man" after all)

Tim and I proudly watched as all three kids got on the bus (Simon protectively sitting near his little brother) and then hurried to beat the bus to school. We were there as they got to school, stepped off the bus and got "tagged" with their bus color on their backpacks.

We took Sean to his class first and quickly realized he was expected to be in the waiting area, which was a different place than we all thought. Sean, not keen on this idea, became apprehensive and leaving him there with the teacher's aide was not easy. But we had 2 other kids to take to class, so promising ourselves to come back and look in on him, we left Sean with the kind aide and a few other kids doing a craft.

Simon confidently walked us to his classroom where he hugged me (it never ceases to make me happy that he'll still do that in public! that's m'boy!) and said goodbye.

Eowyn got to her class and stood happily in the hall with her friend. It was going to be her first full day, lunch included, at school. I nearly choked up.

As promised, we did return to Sean's class where he was obediently taking his new supplies out of his backpack and piling them up on the back counter. The teacher's aide was there to help him get his backpack into his cubby and seeing that he was comfortable, Tim and I decided not to make ourselves known. Watching my big Kindergarten boy tugged at my already stretched heart strings.

Tim took me out to the Fireside Cafe where we drank coffee, played cribbage and talked about, you guessed it, our kids.

After school we heard all about the bus ride (fun), their teachers (nice), lunch (corn dogs & chocolate milk) and the boy/girl ratio in each class (Simon's class 15 girls : 8 boys; Eowyn's class 9 girls : 14 boys).

I think it's going to be a good year :)

Rain, Rain Don't Go Away!

2010-08-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

So summer turned suddenly to fall on Tuesday when it a deluge of rain plummeted into the record books. According to the weather reports "A record rainfall of 0.57 inch(es) was set at Vancouver WA yesterday. This breaks the old record of 0.48 set in 1973." and "Between 8 PM and 9 PM on Tuesday September 7... Portland International Airport received 1.03 inches of rain. This shatters the previous all time amount of rain for a one hour duration. The previous record was 0.93 inch set on may 24 2008."

Wow.

I was in awe as I watched my children react to the drops falling from the sky as if they'd never seen rain before. I was later informed by my eldest that it was the the best hour of their lives. I made sure they were fully covered with warm hooded jackets and rain boots even as their wiggly bodies couldn't wait to burst out onto the street to splash in puddles. It didn't take long, however, for the protective layers to weigh them down and soon I spied them building dams out of rocks and sticks in the streets, making boats for insects, and having water wars without hood or jacket, joyfully lifting their faces to the downpour.

I even got in on the action when 3 soaked bodies came and oh so generously gave me 3 big hugs. The clean up was epic as we ushered chitter-chattery teeth into steamy showers and threw clothes 3 times heavier than their dry counterparts into the wash. I mopped up drippy drops as freshly washed bodies layers up with warm jammies and hot chocolates.

They remember it as their last day of summer.

Soup 2

2010-08-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

After the Zuppa Toscana, Simon was inspired to hone his soup making skills. This time, Old-Fashioned Chicken Noodle caught his eye.

Let the chopping begin: Celery! Onion! Carrots!

Simon enjoyed throwing in the bay leaf and some seasonings, but when it came to touching the raw chicken...well, he "let" Mom do that :) We covered it all with water and let the flavors blend in a trembling simmer. A few hours later, the stock was done and ready to cool in the fridge over night. The next day our stock was a gelatin and Simon gently scraped off the fat that settled up top.

Fresh parsley from our garden was added to the skimmed stock and warmed up in the pot.
Simon's noodle of choice was a wide egg noodle. Once those were thrown in, the cooked chicken from the stock went back in.

Voila! Old-Fashioned Chicken Noodle Soup!

It was served to Grannie, Pooh Bah, Grandma, Dad, Mom, Brother and Sister sprinkled with mini saltines and was received with rave reviews! Great Job, Chef Si!

Souper Simon

2010-07-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

Today Simon agreed to help Dad make his favorite soup, Zuppa Toscana. First, we needed to get Simon into a chef's shirt. It was a bit large...

But he looked good!

They did a great job following the recipe. Together they sauteed 1 lb Italian Sausage, careful to drain the fat. Dad chopped a large white onion, cloves of garlic and then threw those in with some bacon bits to saute, again. In a large stockpot, 10 cups of water with chicken bullion came to a boil with the onion/garlic/bacon.

Several chopped potatoes boiled in the broth until soft.

After the chefs added heavy cream, browned sausage, some coarsely chopped spinach and salt, it was taste testing time.

End Result: "Delicious! Yummy! Awesome! Tasty AND Delicious!" ~Simon

Dad used this time to explain to son how much time and energy mom puts into dinner each night, and isn't it nice of her to do that for our family. To which Simon replies,

"Well, yeah, but...it's fun!"

My Sean

2010-04-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

Last night Sean & Eowyn were snug in their bunk beds as I was getting ready to read a Bible story to them. As I'm deciding which story to read Sean leans over and states, "I want to be married." I'm taken aback to hear such words coming out of my 4-year-old boy's mouth. I try not to laugh and ask him to repeat what he said because perhaps I heard him wrong. "I want to be married," he confirms. So I smile and am pleased to say I had the composure to ask him what he thought that meant. I am pleased because here's his charming reply: He said, "When you wear a tie you are married. Justin wore a tie and is married. I want to be married." I could hardly contain the laughter inside as I pictured his little friend, Justin, on Easter morning wearing a cute little tie. (side note: I had actually had got Sean to wear a button down collared shirt instead of a tee on Easter because I was sure Justin would dress up, too. So I had pointed his tie out to Sean on Easter as a "see, I told you so!") Anywhoo, thinking I'd figured out what Sean really meant I said "OH!! So you want to wear a tie like Justin!" and he said, "No, I want to be married." I couldn't hold it in any more: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

After regaining my composure, I sat down in the small gold chair placed in the corner of their room as Eowyn requested the Bible story about when Jesus was born. I opened the picture Bible to the story with the Angel appearing to Mary and pointed at the book and said, "Do you remember Mary was?" Eowyn methodically replies "Jesus' mother." Sean is now happily snuggling his taggie on his pillow not listening, so I ask "Sean, who's Mary?" Sean pokes his head up from his pillow and said "Justin. Justin's married."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Great story. Made my night!

~k

1/2 done

2010-03-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to put an entire thought together lately. Inspiration comes and then quickly goes after I decide I have to work hard for it. I've sat down to continue writing the half constructed story in my mind just to put the notebook away without adding a single stroke to the pages. I've half written several blog posts, just to cancel out, fearing what I had to say wasn't profound enough. I've sung and re-sung the one song I've finished composing for my musical, afraid to start on the next one.

Whether or not this posting ends up making sense or not, I've decided to publish it just as an exercise of making myself finish something, for once. WARNING: It may end up being an exercise in free association...

It is fear that drives this lack of commitment? I'm not afraid of hard work. I'm not one to shy away from a challenge, but here I find myself afraid of what...failure? of what might happen next? Mediocrity?

I have grand plans. Big ones that won't leave me alone. I don't ever forget my dreams. They are always there, in the back of my head, whispering "I'm still here..." I think about when the kids are all in school THEN I can take the time to address them. Of course I thought that this year I'd be able to at least commit a couple days a week to furthering them on, but that's not happened. The mornings fill up so quickly with dishes, floors, laundry, worrying, feeling guilty for not working outside the home. Nothing squashes a dream like guilt.

But next year, I say, next year I will have MORE time to act on my dreams. 3 kids in school and a whole morning each weekday to myself! I confess I am giddy with the thought that I could be pursuing those dreams, stretching out of the "good ol' mom" role (and don't hear me say that I've begrudged one moment of the stay at home mom gig. It is my loftiest dream that has come true and I am everyday thankful for it), exploring who else I am. I am more than chauffeur and chef. More than teacher and planner. More than mom and wife, even. I am Kari.

As these thoughts circle round, I am approached with a job opportunity. Just 3 months, but it would be steady income for this fall. If I can arrange babysitting, I could do it. It's something I'm capable of and I'm not opposed to the work environment or the people there. I've done it before and am actually good at it. But my dreams....

Is it selfish? It is wrong to even struggle? it's not like it's forever, but I find myself wondering "what will be next? what will delay my dreams next?" and are they dreams that are even worthy of taking to the time to see if they can come to fruition?

Is this lifetime meant for something else? A life a service. I KNOW that's important and I don't want to dwell just on myself. But why do I have these dreams? Honestly, what good is it to humanity to have another book. Another musical. Another blog. I don't know. But what I fear is that given the time to act on these dreams, will I 1) waste the time 2) not finish them 3) not excel at them. What if I pour myself into something that is just "okay". It does scare me.

I find myself often pondering heaven. Will there be the desire to write books in heaven? To create a musical? To throw birthday parties? Since I am a created being with a soul that will go on after this body has expired, my dreams will likely remain. If they are are truly Godly given. Do I deny self here on this earth, while there is so much work to be done for the Kingdom, and give my dreams over to God to cultivate until I am given eternity to work on them? Is this blog post, even, a waste of time?

I guess I don't think this is a waste of time. Jesus walked away from his ministry, more often than I realized now that I've relooked at my Saviour's time on this earth. What for? To catch a breather? To organize his thoughts and dreams? To call out to his Father in heaven to pour into him the strength he was going to need for the next act of service? Can giving myself time to explore my creativity be a way of connecting deeper with my God?

Or is selfish?

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil 1:6)

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my dreams are 1/2 done...I'm only 1/2 done ;)

~k

Thirty-Two, you haven't done right by me

2010-01-16T16:51:00.000-08:00

So here it is. The week of my 32nd birthday. It's no big deal, I mean you hit a certain age and certainly it's not the event of the year it used to be. In fact, you'd much rather it not be much of an event at all. Sure, a fresh flower boquet here, a quiet family game night there and coffee with a friend are always nice so that you know you aren't completely forgotten in your old age. But please, for all that is good and holy, no surprise parties or balloons announcing in neon letters the age of this birthday girl. Now my family knows this and so all is well.

However, fate, it seems has other ideas of how to play tricks on me this week. Three tricks to be exact.

First, there was a melt down. Yes. On the day of my birth I proceeded to have a melt down in front of both Tim and Simon. I'm not proud and am very sad Simon was there, but there is no taking it back, so I simply explain that mom is a girl and therefore reserves the right to be prone to, ahem, over reaction from time to time ('it's my party and I'll cry if I want to' - that applies, right?) . The details for the outburst are nothing to throw a shoe at (is that even a colloquialism? see, I'm already feeling the effects of my old age). What I mean to say is, the little bind I found myself in did NOT require such a response, but alas it did. But that was just Strike one.

Second, there was wine. After all, it IS my birthday and Tim was in the kitchen creating all sorts of yummy smells including bacon, rosemary, chicken, and mushrooms. There was also lemon & asparagus involved. So yummy. I was very excited about food and had a glass of red (oh yes, it HAD to be red) wine in my hands. After a toast to me, I put the glass down and proceeded to reach for something behind my full glass. Needless to say the red red wine tipped over onto my very most favorite and comfy sweater that just happens to be beige. All I can say is thank you Oxy-clean. Strike two.

Third, there was today. Fate gave me 2 days to try and recoup from its clever schemes against me, but that was all. Today I decided I would go get a Washington driver's license. This is a big deal because, one, I've lived here for over a year. And two, because I've driven out to the NOT SO CONVENIENT Cascade Park Department of Licensing waited in line with children with hair and makeup done up nicely just to be told I did not have enough proof that I was me or that I actually lived in WA. This happened not once, but twice already. The first time I didn't have enough address proof, the second, they didn't believe I was who I was even though I had my Colorado driver's license AND my social security card. AND all the cards in my wallet were Kari A Denison. And all my bills had my name on them. No, no, that's not enough. I needed my birth certificate, too. So finally today came and I was going to do it. Paperwork - check. Hair - check. Money - check. I get there, pleased that the parking lot didn't look full. I walk in to see the Dept of vehicle licensing was open, but NOT the Department of PEOPLE LICENSING!!!! I couldn't believe it. Apparently they feel the need to take Saturday off as well as Monday off to celebrate the late great MLK. Now, I'm all for ample celebration on his behalf, but someone please explain why they get Saturday off, too? Does anyone ELSE get it off? Not the US Mail. Not the vehicle licensing. SO WHY people licensing, hmmm??? I was beside myself, but my tears have been used up.

So, sorry FATE, this is what I have to say to you: I'M DONE! YOU CAN'T MESS WITH ME ANY MORE!!! MY TEARS ARE GONE AND I WILL NOT BE MAKING A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF AND LOSING MY COMPOSURE BECAUSE OF YOU. So you may as well give up.

I'm 32 and can do this...

Here I come

~k

Hearts & Tarts

2010-01-08T16:39:00.000-08:00

It's a very wet Friday afternoon and the kids are looking forward to Family Movie Night. FMN almost always includes cheap pizza and pop, but I had yet to procure the Totinos and "Sparkly". Simon was not thrilled to be dragged out back into the rain after just coming home from school. I saw myself in him for that moment - the home body. If it was an errand, please leave me at home. An easy Sunday afternoon drive, no thank you. I will happily play away in my room, tinkle on the piano or read a book. But alas, being 8 is not quite old enough for me to traipse away from the house for an unknown amount of time. Although I vowed to him we'd grab only what was on the list, hit the express lane and no more, he was not happy.

Once in the store things looked brighter. There was pop, pizza and the reminder that I had a brownie mix for afterwards to look forward to. I even splurged for Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs at the dollar movie box.

On the way home, Simon was playing with his Tamagotchi and giving it a tart to eat. That sparked in me memories of the childhood nursery rhyme involving royalty and tarts. Was it the King of Hearts? The Queen of Tarts? I was sure there was a Knave in there stealing tarts all on a summer's day, but I knew I had it all wrong. I was fumbling through the rhyme aloud, wondering if Simon would have heard it, but he had not. His mood obviously lightened, he offered up his own version of the poem:

The Queen of Hearts made some tarts
The King of Hearts wanted to eat the tarts
The Jack of Hearts farted on the tarts
And the King and Queen were mad

I had applaud the addition of a rhyme that I'm certain the author did not include in the original.

If you are curious about the original, as I was, I'll give it to you:

The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer's day;
The Knave of Hearts he stole the tarts and took them clean away.
The King of Hearts called for the tarts and beat the Knave full sore;
The Knave of Hearts brought back the tarts and vowed he'd steal no more.

Gotta admit that Simon's version had a certain ring to it :)

~k

Christmas Music 101 - Steven Curtis Chapman

2009-12-15T12:10:00.000-08:00

The Music of Christmas and All I Really Want for Christmas are Steven Curtis Chapman's two Christmas albums to date. His first was released in 1995, his second a decade later in 2005. The two share his most famous original Christmas song Christmas is all in the heart first sung with Cece Winans and the second version with Vince Gill.

Of the two a clear favorite is the first released The Music of Christmas. I don't think it's just because it was the first, although there are definitely memories that are closely connected with that one, but rather it is simply the better of the two, all in all. And I just happened to have found it in a neglected corner of the downstairs room today!

Don't get me wrong, there are some really great songs on All I Really Want for Christmas, and no song better than the album's namesake. The song is told from the point of view of a child whose only real wish is for a family. The album begins with one of Steven's adopted daughters reading the Christmas story from Luke 2 and throughout brings the listener's attention towards those children who need a family. There is no small parallel that is made: that all of us, children or not, are in need a Father and One who is waiting with open arms to adopt us into his family. And that by adoption we are rightful daughters and sons, heirs to His royal inheritance and somehow deserving of His perfect love. It is a theme that runs through this album and gives me wonderful insights into not only a parent's love, but God's love for me.

I also have enjoyed getting to know better the old hymn I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day as sung on the second album. This carol, written during the turmoil and sadness of the American Civil War, was nothing special to me growing up. However, these 2 verses sung back to back in his version bring me to tears every time I hear them now:

And in despair, I bow'd my head:
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong and mocks the song,
Of Peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep;
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With Peace on earth, good will to men."

Wow.

But again, all in all, there is nothing more Christmassy in music, lyrics and meaning than those in Steven's first Christmas album. Our God is With Us, Tim and my personal favorite song on the album, is very powerful. It speaks of our Saviour leaving heaven to be with us, the very heart of Christmas celebration. Emmanuel, the very name given to the promised One. Its beautiful melody and words strike us deeply each year. Tim just mentioned that he's not feeling very Christmassy yet. It looks like Christmas, but that it hasn't sunk in. Now that I've found this album, I am excited to give it to him to listen to in his car. I know it'll strike the chords he's been missing. I pray that God sings to him through these songs, as He has before.

The list of songs is fantastic, Hark! the Herald Angels Sing, Angels we have heard on high (done to a different but complimenting melody), O Come O Come Emmanuel, and O Come All Ye Faithful, are intermixed with several perfectly "Steven" originals including another favorite that has made it's way into our church kid's choir: This Baby. There are also a few musical interludes, which are beautifully arranged for guitar and full orchestra.

This album is NOT to be missed. I know Steven is pretty "old school" and of the Christian music genre, but his lyrics have made his music stand out from the other popular "christian musicians." He never misses an opportunity to thread scripture directly into the verses. I love having Truth running through my head throughout the day and I pray that my children benefit from it as I have.

~k

Christmas Music 101 - Barenaked for the Holidays

2009-12-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

Yes, you read it correctly: Barenaked. Brrrrr! If you haven't been blessed by the Barenaked Ladies singing a mix of Christmas/Hannukah/Wintertime songs then you really have been missing out on the sounds of the season.

What I love about Barenaked for the Holidays is the unique mix of songs. Not only ones we all know and love (Auld Lang Syne, Rudolf, I Saw Three Ships, Carol of the Bells) but original tunes as well (Elf's lament, Footprints, Green Christmas). Green Christmas has a sweet tune accompanied by very meloncholy lyrics. Then there's Elf's Lament which is, of course, Christmas from an Elf's point of view. Footprints is a very pretty winter song that I love to put on as I long for snow!!

Now there are those songs that just don't suite my fancy as well. O Holy Night played at a fast tempo on a Lowery organ doesn't work for me. As you may have read in my first review, that particular song is sacred to me. You don't mess with it and you for goodness sake don't add a drum machine. Do They Know it's Christmas? - never been one of my favorites and even they can't turn me on to it.

But good overpowers the annoying. I've never heard such pure innocent boy sillyness on a live recording as I've heard on I Have a Little Dreidel. Love it!! And I listen to Deck the Stills year round. It is the most hilarious idea!! To repeat the words "Crosby Stills Nash and Young" to the tune of Deck the Halls will make me smile no matter what mood I'm in (and I dare say you'd do the same).

But those aren't even my favorite. Can you guess mine from looking at the song list?
1. Jingle Bells
2. Green Christmas
3. I Saw Three Ships
4. Hannukah Blessings
5. O Holy Night
6. Elf's Lament
7. Snowman
8. Do They Know It's Christmas?
9. Hanukkah, O Hanukkah
10. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/ We Three Kings
11. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
12. Carol of the Bells
13. Footprints
14. Deck the Stills
15. Christmas Time (Oh yeah)
16. Sleigh Ride
17. Christmas Pics
18. I Have a Little Dreidel
19. Wonderful Christmastime
20. Auld Lang Syne

Yes, those of you who know me know the answer to this: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings. It is the most awesomest (yes, I said awesomest) version with Sarah Mclachlan that you've probably heard on the radio. Here in the Denison household everyone knows to turn the volume up and say "MOM!!! YOUR SONG'S ON THE RADIO!!!"

Yes, I love it.

This album is the most eclectic mix of holiday/seasonal songs I've ever heard. Even to the extent that it's almost "anti" Christmas, it's one of my favorites! Which one's your favorite?

~k

Christmas Music 101 - Michael Crawford

2009-11-30T14:24:00.000-08:00

Oh Michael Crawford, how I loved you as the mysterious Phantom of the Opera! Much of my youth was spent listening to your smooth voice cut through notes as if they were butter. I would dream that I was your muse as my 6 octave range soprano voice sang along side yours. "I am the mask you wear" "It's me they hear" I mean compared to you who was Raoul, anyway? I mean, sure you were a little crazy because your mother abandoned you after giving you just a mask to wear and left you for dead, but who wouldn't be after that? Oh, and you wanted to keep me locked up inside your dungeon forever more but, hey, it was a small price to pay to keep that amazing voice of yours all to myself. You should have chosen Phantom, Christine! Phantom, who of all people would understand when you were old and gray that it is what's on the inside that counts.

Just kidding, Christine. You wouldn't really want a moody husband who owns a torture chamber. It probably wouldn't turn out well for anybody. Just keep your hand at the level of your eye - Punjab lasso, you know, just in case.

Okay enough of that! I know, I know we are past the point of no return, but I must go on.

So during this infatuation with Michael Crawford's voice, Tim and I happened upon a TV Christmas special where he would be performing. It was 1993 and David Foster's Christmas Album came on. There were several artists all singing various Christmas songs and then it was M.C.'s turn. We heard the triplet pattern of O Holy Night and got excited. It is after all our favorite carol! But we are picky about our O Holy Night renditions. It has to be pretty straight up. No jazzy-ing it up or muddying up the already perfect melody. And it must swell at the end, but not until the end. Well, Michael didn't disappoint. In fact from that moment on we wanted no other O Holy Night! But it wasn't easy to find.

Fast forward to 2000. Tim and I had been married just over a year and living in Colorado for a few months. We were going to miss out on all the traditional Northwest Christmas events and feeling a bit homesick. It was our tradition to add a new Christmas CD to our collection each year and we hadn't found anything special. We drove down to the Pavillion on 16th Street Mall in Denver and entered the massive Barnes & Noble. Up on the top level was their collection of music and there in the middle of all the Peabo Brysons and Celine Dions was Michael Crawford. Apparently inspired by the very same TV Special that enchanted us all those years ago was his CD "A Christmas Album" released in 1999. We raced to read the song list:
1. The Very Best Time of Year/ The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
2. Peace, Peace / Silent Night
3. Mary Did You Know?
4. A Strange Way to Save the World (duet with Twila Paris)
5. Journey to Bethlehem (Christmas medley)
6. O Holy Night
7. Scarlet Ribbons
8. Candlelight Carol
9. Angels We Have Heard on High/ Joy to the World
10. All is Well

O Holy Night? Check. That was our only prerequisite and so we didn't hesitate to buy it!

Several on this album became instant favorites. In fact Peace, Peace / Silent Night I used that Christmas for my Jr. High choir to sing. A simple two part melody combining the ever popular Silent Night with a new melody Peace, Peace. It was easy, fun, and sounded GREAT! I still think of those ACA faces when I hear that one! All is Well, is another favorite, one that is not so common and beautifully orchestrated. O Holy Night was JUST the way we remembered it and is to this day my most favorite O Holy Night (even over Josh Groban's version, who also uses the David Foster version, and I DO like his...but that's for another post).

But to our surprise there was a track that astonished us even more. To this day, I have to have conditions just right to hear it for the first time during Christmas season because I don't want to be distracted. Track 5 The Journey to Bethlehem. It is the most beautifully orchestrated and performed medley of Christmas Carols I've ever encountered. It is epic in it's almost 8 minute entirety and highlights Michael's amazing voice perfectly over and with the adult and boys choirs used to perform this piece. It is something that has never been equaled in my estimation. That track alone makes it worth buying the CD, but through in O Holy Night and the other sacred carols and it's a special one.

There are a few "huh" ones on there (scarlet ribbons isn't my favorite, neither is mary did you know) but all and all this is a nice collection of some great uncommon Christmas songs sang with a voice like no other: Phantom's :)

~k

Christmas Music 101 - Intro

2009-11-30T11:17:00.000-08:00

Tis the Season people!!! Tis the Season for the sights, the smells, and the tastes that together help create the feel of Christmas. But let us not forget the SOUNDS of Christmas! In fact, to me the feel of Christmas almost exclusively begins on that annual date that magically gives us permission to play our Christmas CDs. As Thanksgiving approaches I begin to get giddy with the thought of Christmas music but am faithful to keep my ears pure so that on that special date I will hear again the tunes I've waited 11 months to hear. That day is the day after Thanksgiving.

There are of course exceptions. The first exception is one I abide with willingly. And that is when, in November, I allow my piano students to start practicing Christmas music. As musicians one should have several carols and songs of the season already practiced and perfected during the Christmas season for both formal performances or informal family sing-alongs, as well as personal merriment. The second exception I'm not okay with. It tends to create in me very unseasonal and downright anti-Christmassy thoughts, the kind that do NOT produce feelings of peace and certainly not goodwill. This occurs when I am innocently shopping for, say, a replacement shoelace or perhaps visiting the dollar store with my children when what to my wondering ears should appear? But songs of a sleigh and eight (or nine) tiny reindeer! It is bad enough I've had to see pre-lit plastic Christmas trees and giant plastic candy canes around the stores since before Halloween, (ugh! commercialism) but to have my ears littered with songs about Christmas in the Northwest (insert here: rant from last year) or just how many days, hours, minutes, seconds, etc. there are 'til the celebration of our holy Lord's birth (that I'm pretty sure they'd spell x-mas...another pet peeve). But Christmas is not a time of dwelling on pet peeves so I shall move on.

This year Tim and I are excited because we actually have our Christmas music with us. This is a big deal because during last Christmas season we thought our entire music collection had been lost - left behind at a motel we had stayed at as we made our journey back to the Northwest. We had, in fact, most definitely left our video camera at the motel as well but upon calling said motel (little america, wyoming) the motel insisted the cleaning crew hadn't encountered them (hmmm....I have "lost" more things that way, one of the oddest items being a breast pump). Okay, no more rants, I apologize! But wait, this part ends well: As I was rummaging through our chaotic storage unit a few months ago I encountered our binder full of music! And while I could care less about my once prized collection of the entire life's work of (I'm almost ashamed to say it) Michael W. Smith, I am pleased to know I have my Les Miserables, Simon and Garfunkel, Norton Music Anthology and all our Christmas music back with us.

So in celebration of this fact, I thought I'd blog throughout the season about the CDs that most define our Christmas holiday here in the Denison household. They are the ones that our children will grow up with and while I'm sure we'll add more throughout the years, these are the few timeless selections that we love to listen to year after year.

So stay tuned!
~k

Keyser Soze vs. The Devil

2009-11-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

"It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out," the old under-secretary Screwtape writes to his nephew Wormwood in C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. This book has always intrigued me - the idea of writing a story from a demon's point of view as he gets tutored in the ways of temptation in hopes for the damnation of a young man. Screwtape uses terms like "The Enemy" to refer to the God of the universe and hastily mentions the Incarnation as the "discreditable episode." It's absolutely fascinating to read and re-read for I do have to take it slow as I adjust my thinking to the point of view of one who serves "our father below". It's odd to read with the main character an antagonist while never meeting the protagonist. Or is it that the protagonist IS the antagonist?

I have found each letter, only 4 or 5 pages at most, to open my eyes to some paradigm shift. The strength of the letter I read today is in the quoted line I began with. How true it rings! We picture the Devil as tromping around to put bad thoughts into our head or making us act out in sinfulness. We don't as easily figure his greatest advantage is his slyness in keeping things out of our head: those things that could make us more effective, more caring, more reliant on God.

In this wonderful country we live in, we are so spoiled that mostly as we dwell on our material things that we don't often consider the devil's influence. In the safety of our suburban homes we don't encounter out right demonic acts. We hear about them in other countries and wonder at how it could possibly a daily physical struggle against evil forces! Where is that struggle here? Never more true is it that we have buried ourselves in our stuff and our comforts that the devil's work is most effective in letting us forget that he is real. I know I have at times. I forget that spiritual forces are at work around me at all times. I forget to pray against them as my children go off to school away from the safety of our home. It's easy to pretend my friend's struggles are being poked and prodded silently by his wicked fingers. How my focus will now change with the reminder of the devil's sneakiness, that his low profile has become his greatest ally.

"Our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." God, open my ears to hear the devil's roars!

Everyone knows we Denisons loves movies. L-O-V-E. Love. Arguably the best delivered line in a movie comes from 1995's The Usual Suspects. And it's just this:

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

(thus the keyser soze reference in the title, if anyone was confused. But I suspect if you've seen the movie you were NOT confused :)
~k

Kid-speak & Kid-do

2009-10-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

simon

Friday is a day off of school for parent/teacher conferences. I'm proud to say both of our school aged kids had glowing reports given to Tim and I at our conference last night. Friday morning the boys woke up a 1/2 hour later than usual (that's pretty good as far as expecting any sleeping in on a day off!) and after some breakfast and a cartoon Simon asked me if he could play a video game, since it WAS a day off. I paused, thinking of how Mrs. Stringfellow told us he excells at reading, loves science and is bright in math (like his daddy). But what warmed our hearts most was her remark that he is joy to have in class, that he is sweet, respectful and a good friend to his classmates. As I recalled the conversation I listened to the rain steadily falling on the roof and with a smile told him that he could. Simon responded with a big hug and a very sincere "YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD!" Simon, you are the best kid in the world :)

eowyn

"I'm dancing around because I'm just so frust-er-ated at standing still so much."

sean

This morning Sean found a big helium balloon that Tim brought home from his last day of a long term teaching job (The kids at the High School obviously loved him - they provided lunch, chocolate cake, a "World's Greatest Teacher" mug and a "you'll be missed!" balloon). Sean decided he was going to use the balloon as his own personal punching bag, but it was a bit too tall. So I adjusted the string to his eye-level, stepped back and remarked "Let's have a fair fight!" He continued then to punch the balloon with much exuberance (too much for being 7:30 in the morning, but then again he's a morning person). This went on for a while and then I watched him grab the balloon like a face and plant a big ol' kiss in the center of the balloon. He looked up at me and said "It's a girl." I joked with him "What??! No kissing girls!!" Then he looked back down at the balloon he was holding gently and in a sultry voice I've never heard him use before said "Hello."

Where do they learn this???

The Thankless Job

2009-10-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

The bathroom gets a good scrub down each and every Tuesday whether it needs it or not. HAHAHAHAHA! With five bodies in one bathroom you can just imagine how badly it needs it when Tuesday rolls around, again, and again. I seem to mark my time by my self imposed weekly cleaning schedule. And boy, do the weeks fly by, for it feels as if it is always Bathroom Cleaning Day :)

Today I dutifully bleached and scrubbed, washed and wiped, swept and mopped in and around, up and down. I always feel better about it and the transformation is so complete that it makes this particular chore if not pleasant, then tolerable. But does anyone else appreciate it? Okay, three kids are not going know to appreciate the removal of undesirable unseen things, and as a mother I learned early and I learned quickly that it is by and large a thankless job that I do. Not unappreciated, but thankless. There is a difference.

Now laundry is different. "YAY, my camouflage pants are clean!" or "Ah, clean undies. Thanks, babe" or the smile I get when Eowyn discovers her new Boston Red Sox are clean. I may hate to fold, but there's a reward at least. Making dinner, too, at least generates a response. Now it could be "TACO NIGHT! YES!" or it might be "I don't like chicken and green beans," but there's always a response.

So as I clean the bathroom I don't expect thanks. Bathrooms promptly return to their disheveled look anyway. Globs of unused toothpaste adorn the sink and little fingerprints smudge the mirror but I sigh remembering that next Tuesday will come only too quickly and I'll scrub once more. Imagine my surprise, then, when my four-year-old came down to me and remarks "Mom! You cleaned the bathroom! It's so clean! Thank you for cleaning the bathroom, Mom!" I could have just kissed him all over. Oh wait...that's precisely what I did.

Bad and Good News

2009-10-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Bad news: The condo sale was postponed. AGAIN. This time to the 14th. If you've been praying, please continue to do so...

Good news: I called Bank of America directly to ask them why the postponements keep happening. (I had called the law firm in charge of handling the procedure and all they could tell me was that they nevr received bidding instructions from the client (B of A) and so it was an automatic postponement.)

Here's what I was told by B of A: It's being postponed because there's a note attached to our file that they're waiting on a short sale.

Now, if you are not laughing out loud at this point, it's because you've missed part of the story. See, we TRIED to short sell the property and got like 5 offers for it and submitted them to B of A (then countrywide). We were told BY BANK OF AMERICA that they would NOT accept our short sale proposal. So we stopped trying and the foreclosure proceeded...only to get held up...because BANK OF AMERICA thinks we're still trying to short sell?

Good grief. The good news part is that the guy I talked to said he removed the short sale note from our file and that the auction SHOULD proceed without further delay.

So, if you would, keep praying about the sale on the 14th. I count it God's answer to prayer that we were able to make the progress that that we did.

Thanks,
Tim (& Kari)

My Detox Journey - Day #10

2009-10-01T23:08:00.000-07:00

Day 10. It's here! I've been going strong these past few days and am nearly all out of most my organic items. I did pretty well, though, considering I didn't plan out each day before I went shopping. I did need to go get fresh fruit every few days but with my garden full of tomatoes, zucchini, summer squash, greens, basil and parsley I fared quite well. I used up my whole jug of apple juice, a bag full of lemons, several cans of beans, a bag of salad mix, all my honey n' oats granola bars, a bag of raisins, a box worth of green tea and one 1/2 gallon of rice milk. I need to go shopping!

When I do go shopping again it will be with new eyes. I was always afraid of cereals higher in calories, normally keeping to Special K's equation that bowlful = 110 calories. That is what is healthy, right? Well, now I will happily get the tastier pumpkin and flax seed ridden granola even though the calories are over 200 and there's even, gasp, 4 grams of fat! But I've found that I'm so much more satisfied and it lasts so much longer when I eat the hardy, or should I say "hearty" stuff :) I enjoyed my vanilla rice milk and will try keeping some around the house. I use it in cereal, coffee & tea, and it's pretty good by itself. While I am excited to have yogurt, cheese and ICE CREAM again, I do think my lactose tolerance may be waning as I age. Pizza has been doing a number on me lately (even veggie pizza) so I'm putting dairy on my "watch out for" list, seeing as I haven' t had any discomfort these past 10 days without it. And of course I want to keep a lot of fresh fruits around the house for me to easily grab instead of something sugary.

I am so thankful for my friend, Emily. Her encouragement during this detox process has meant a lot to me and helped me keep my eyes on the prize, at it were. Emily started up her own Health and Wellness Coaching Business, to which I say: I would absolutely be coached by her! 1) She is down to earth, so I can talk to her about anything 2) is a mom, so I know she understands the busyness of life and how cooking and food choices can suffer because of it and 3) is a Christ-follower, so I know she won't pull any "look to the spirit in the sky by day and the stars by night" sort of new age mysticism at me. I miss her a bunch and love getting the updates (to get her updates feel free to contact her to be added to the email list - it's worth it) Seasonal food choices & wellness tips are among the thoughts she shares periodically to her subscribers: emily@emilyholmeswellness.com or check out her website at http://www.emilyholmes.com)

I will likely do one more posting POST detox tomorrow with other specifics on how I felt it went. I have a feeling it will end on a very positive note.

I think I can smell my celebratory zucchini bread already :)

A very brief summary of events...

2009-10-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

...with regard to our Colorado condo, followed by an earnest prayer request.

So. I'm pretty sure it's been mentioned that although we found several buyers for our condo at current market value (65% less than we bought it for), our mortgage company rejected the short sale and so it's being foreclosed on. We're eager for the closure...but it keeps not coming. Here's the latest:

The condo was scheduled to be auctioned on August 12, but was postponed to September 16th. Then it was postponed on the 16th until the 30th, and yesterday it was postponed again until October 7th. It's all very frustrating, not only because of just wanting it to be over and done with so we can begin the rebuilding process, but also because until it's sold, our HOA dues continue to pile up.

We have heard stories about how sometimes the banks will just never sell the property off, and eventually the HOA comes after you for 10,000 dollars in late dues. And the way the laws are written, not even bankruptcy can protect you from the HOA if the title is still in your name.

So we really, really want the thing to be sold. Really. And boy we'd love it if we could get a few people praying for an October 7th sale.

Thanks, friends.

Tim

My Detox Journey - Day #9 (and the Grandiose Claims of Green Tea)

2009-09-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

Growing up I wasn't much of a tea drinker. My limited experiences with tea consisted of the occasional trip to a sit-down Chinese restaurant where I would fill my 2 oz "mug" 1/2 way with tea and add an entire spoonful of sugar. That was it. That is until I met my sister & mother-in-law and then ginger peach tea grew on me and then blackberry sage and then, well you get the idea. Now I live in a home that has so many yummy varieties of tea that I never want for it should the craving arise. Even so I am a coffee girl through and through so it has been interesting to see how much I've grown to enjoy my cups of green tea I've had during this detox.

Now, I don't watch Oprah so when I went researching why green tea was so great for detox I didn't realize there has already been much ado about it. The November 2004 episode aired and apparently every woman in the United States watching that day ran out and bought a 6 week supply of green tea. What happened was this exchange between Oprah and Dr. Nigel Perricone:

Oprah: Now I've read in your book that you said if I just replaced coffee with green tea instead, that I could lose 10 pounds in six weeks.

Dr. Perricone: Absolutely.

Oprah: Now really. How could that -- what is the big deal about this?

Dr Perricone: Coffee has organic acids that raise your blood sugar, raise insulin. Insulin puts a lock on body fat. When you switch over to green tea, you get your caffeine, you're all set, but you will drop your insulin levels and body fat will fall very rapidly. So 10 pounds in six weeks, I will guarantee it.

Oprah: I'm gonna do that. OK. That is so good! Whoo! That is great.

Pretty big claims for a simple beverage exchange. Now, there is more to it than that (ie. you need to be drinking upwards of 5 cups of green tea per day, eating healthy during the day and exercising regularly) but the claim definitely shone a spotlight on green tea. After all it is purported to lower your risk of cancer, help with depression, lower cholesterol levels, boost heart health and even encourage weight loss. So I ask, are we just dumb lambs following blindly any which way the media (or Oprah) guides us, or is there truth that green tea is a wonder beverage?

Perhaps some of both. I mean to say that "we" in general do have dumb lamb-like qualities when it comes to being swayed by media, but also that green tea has some medically documented health benefits. For instance, there are documented reports that the EGCG in green tea (a powerful antioxidant that isn't lost in processing like other teas) inhibits the growth of certain cancer cells without harming healthy tissue. A diet that includes green tea has been documented to help to not only lower LDL cholesterol levels but also inhibit the growth of abnormal blood clots. This is a pretty big deal because abnormal blood clots (thrombosis) is the leading cause of heart attacks.

However, claims that it will make you drop 10 lbs (or any weight at all) are less legit. There are studies, but nothing solid. But this doesn't bother me. I am not doing this detox to shed pounds. I am doing it as an exercise of eating right in hopes that I will adopt a healthier lifestyle. I am happy to think that in doing so I will increase my chances of feeling great, having better skin, being sick less often, and you know, if a few pounds are shed in the process, I wouldn't be surprised. I haven't gotten on a scale since starting this whole process, but come Friday I'll just see. I admit I'll be disappointed if a pound or two were not lost, but I will remind myself that it is less about my appearance on the outside and more about the strengthening of my insides :)

My Detox Journey - Day #7 & #8 (Rice Rice & more Rice)

2009-09-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

As a new mom I learned a new language. I wasn't fluent, but I knew a few words here and there - enough to get around. The new jargon included words like "onesies" "binkie" "boppy" and "pureed sweet potatoes in ice cube trays." One phrase my doctor introduced to me was "BRAT diet." This one startled me. I take Simon in and he's sick with lots of diaper changes and the doc simple states, "Sounds like you need to treat him like a BRAT." Um, excuse me?? She then went on to explain that when one is experiencing gastrointestinal distress some foods that can help are bland foods low in fiber like Banana, Rice, Applesauce and Toast (BRAT). When I started researching this detox diet I was preparing for a lot of bathroom visits (8 glasses of water will do that to a person) and yet rice was highlighted on the list of allowable foods. Could rice really be part of a detoxifying program?

All rice is allowed in the detox program, but "Brown rice is healthier!" We've all heard this and I, like most of my contemporary Americans, co-mingle guilt with enjoyment as I eat the wonderful white version. But is it just the brown rice companies trying to get us to jump on their bandwagon under the guise of being healthy or is it actually legit? I had to look for myself. I found out that brown rice is the pure, unadulterated form that all white rice starts out as. Once the brown hull is removed we get the white rice we all know and love. But the brown "husk" is full of a bunch of nutritious goodies that we are missing out on when we remove it.

" this brown film is actually a layer of bran that gives it high amounts of insoluble fiber. This high fiber content reduces the possibility of heart disease, helps avoid abrupt spikes in sugar levels, aids in digestion and reduces constipation. Furthermore, brown rice’s high fiber content means that the grain slows down digestion, leaving you feeling fuller for longer." (detox.org)

This intrigues me. So I've made a few cups of rice this week (remembering to give myself 50 minutes of cooking time, not the 20 that I've grown accustomed to with white rice) and have really enjoyed it. It has a sweet sort of flavor that just seems filling as I eat it. It has some weight, some "umph" to it and leaves me satisfied and full. I've noticed that about this week. Beans, Rice, Veggies. At the end of the day I'm not craving another meal like I thought I'd be. I do have to battle my sugar cravings, but even then I have my defensive tricks to beat those down. But I'm never hungry. I've eaten well and my body is happy for it.

Today I am going to incorporate my newly found love of brown rice into a soup recipe (finally! making soup on a fall-like day!). It's just a traditional Vegetable Soup with Rice, but it's going to be full of our own garden's zucchini and tomatoes as well as kidney beans, garlic, onion, peas, celery and carrots. Oooh...it's gonna be good (I'm hoping the brown rice will be enough to keep my longing for a crusty loaf of Italian bread at bay).

Every detox guru stresses the importance of those 8 glasses of water. Even with all this great food that is full of fiber one needs to stay hydrated. Believe me, when you do this you won't need to worry about any gastrointestinal distress or constipation. But you must drink your water, so don't skimp. You certainly wouldn't want to be "treated like a BRAT!"

My Detox Journey - Day #5 & #6

2009-09-27T16:10:00.001-07:00

Okay, this is harder than I thought it would be. I mean everything in my body screams: Bread! Cheese! Yogurt! HOMEMADE COOKIES!!! And it's only Day 6. I'm just over the hump, but Friday may as well be a month away. I'm a bit tired of my soups, had to say no to being treated to Dairy Queen, we ran out of tahini for hummus and I can't even spread a bit of peanut butter on my celery....how pathetic am I?

I've even cheated a bit. After running out of the flax seed/rice crackers, I knowingly grabbed a bag of already opened Tostitos from the pantry and guiltily relished the salty crunch under my fresh garden salsa. I also don't believe I drank more than 4 glasses of water yesterday. Today, I ate a bit of fish (which I'm seeing is more or less controversial during detox as it is an animal), AND I've secretly added Pirate's Booty and Nature's Valley Oats n' Honey Granola bars to the list of allowable foods (even though they have *gasp* canola oil).

I have, however, been faithful to stay away from straight up dairy and sugar. No ice cream, cookies, or chocolate. I've found that if I sit down with a Valencia orange or a bunch of yummy grapes, I tend to forget that I NEEDED a cookie just moments ago. And my green tea with honey also tends to satisfy my sweet tooth as well as make me feel warm and full as the cool of the evening sets in. At the end of the day I notice that I feel completely satisfied and well, so I figure I may be able to do another day.

So hang in there with me as I try to hang in there...I may just make it.

My Detox Journey - Day #4 (Zzzzzzzzzz)

2009-09-25T16:02:00.000-07:00

My health & wellness friend, Emily, gave me a list of some nonfood to-dos during this detox journey. I may be following the "diet" closely, but the rest of it (unintended pun...you'll see) I seem to be falling short of. Here's what she suggests:

*Keep stress low
*Get lots of exercise
*Get lots of sleep

Well, as a mom, my stress level is my faithful and constant friend during mornings, meal times, and bed times. Why is that? I know it is self inflicted. My kids, just like most other kids, may be unfocused and full of energy, but good, sweet tempered kids who will do what they are told (even if it's the 3rd time). They love me and I adore them. But I allow myself to stress about the ticking of the clock and the matching of the socks, among other things. I know I can do better if I take a deep breath and concentrate on those things that are truly important.

Exercise, number two on the list. I did do Pilates on Day #1 :) But since then, my lack of item #3 has left little morning time to myself. Now, I can try to do The Hundred with Sean awake, however, he does tend to jump on mom when she's laying on the floor.

Sleep....I think I remember what that is. It has been quite a crazy week! Between fall ball games way the heck out at Cascade Little League, Tim's Back to School Night that kept him in Lake Oswego from 7am-10:30pm, and our Killers Concert last night (oh, but that was worth it!), I've received fewer than my 8 hours of beauty rest. I was able to fit in a nap with the kids this afternoon, after which I woke up with terribly itchy eyes from my disposable contacts and am now filled with, yes, stress because I need to order MORE contacts that will take 7 days at best to arrive and I think I scratched my poor left eye that is now red and irritated.

And I have a piano lesson to get to.

But I just had some green tea and am listening to the soothing sound of my kids playing nicely with each other and I think I can do it! Even if I arrive to my lesson with my cute, albeit crooked, glasses.

So with a deep breath I vow to do better from now on to sleep well, exercise often, and stress less!

~k

My Detox Journey - Day #10

2009-09-25T15:38:00.000-07:00

I will likely do one more posting POST detox tomorrow with other specifics on how I felt it went. I have a feeling it will end on a very positive note.

I think I can smell my celebratory zucchini bread already :)

My Detox Journey - Day #2 & #3 (ode to a chickpea)

2009-09-24T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Beans! Beans! The Musical 'Fruit'!

The More You Eat the More You Toot!

The More You Toot the Better You Feel!

So Let's Eat Beans For Every Meal!"

I unknowingly taught this to my son the other day (I thought he'd already heard it). He fell on the floor laughing because his mom would say such a thing, as I am known for abhorring all the potty talk/humor that my boys seem to think are SO FUNNY.

Now beans are a great detox food because they are high in protein as well as a great source of fiber and chickpeas (aka garbanzo beans) are my currently favorite legume. Not only are they tasty a-top a fresh bed of greens, and great in soups but also the main ingredient to my favorite snack, hummus. MMMMmmm...hummus. Tim has perfected the Denison hummus blend with garlic, sea salt, black pepper, lemon juice, tahini and of course a can of garbanzos. Not only is hummus a great dip with chips, but becomes an even healthier snack when you use a carrot, cucumber or celery as a spoon :) It's a staple of my day now.

Yesterday I began my adventures in soup making with the Yellow Split Pea Soup with Pumpkin which happened to have a can of garbanzos in it. I sprinkled some roasted pumpkin seeds on top which made it oohh so yummy. And today I'm making a bit pot Chickpea Soup with Lemon and Tahini (which I nicknamed Hummus Soup). I'm excited to try it! Each of these recipes can be found in the New England Soup Factory Recipe Book I mentioned in an early post.

Personal Notes:

*8 glasses of water - no problem (I did have one bottled water at Si's game because I forgot to fill my Nalgene!)

*Dried fruits and nuts are great to keep in a baggie in my purse for long errands

*I wanted another cup of coffee in the late afternoons, but had green tea w/ honey instead

*Green Grapes! They've been what I've grabbed when I'm craving a sugary goodie.

*Tonight I going to the Killers concert and we may eat out...I wonder what I'll get? I'll try really hard to be good :)

*I feel great. No digestive pains, heart burn or head aches (caffeine must be in check now :)

My Detox Journey - Day #1 (and the Super Lemon)

2009-09-22T11:52:00.001-07:00

The morning started off well. I helped wake the three little bodies who would rather be lounging the early hours of daylight away and with even more encouragement they were all fed, dressed, teeth brushed, and off to the bus on time. I turned my attentions towards the the grapes and flax oatmeal I'd been saving for today and felt no guilt as I sipped my one cup of coffee lightened with a splash of vanilla rice milk.

I also enjoyed an apple juice drink that I'll be starting each morning off with:

1/2 cup organic apple juice (you know, the good "cloudy" kind that actually tastes like apples)

squeeze of fresh lemon

diluted with water

So yeah, lemons. If life gives you lemons, well, apparently give 'em a squeeze! I've learned a few things so far in my web-based detox research and one of them is that lemons are a super internal cleanser. Every health nut seems to encourage lemons: a squeeze of lemon in your water here, a drop in your tea there or zest away as a veggie topper.

Personal Notes:

*8 glasses of tap water - no problem

*Really wanted a brownie at lunch, but said "no"

*Really wanted to sink my teeth into Tim's amazing smelling Grilled Petite Sirloin,

but said "no" (well, he didn't even offer...)

*I DID lick off some vanilla soft serve that was melting off my daughter's ice cream cone at McD's today before I realized I could use a napkin to do the same job, though it was messier (a treat for Eowyn after having to get a shot this afternoon!)

*I feel great except for the slight headache that is just now coming on so I'm going to go to bed now (9:45pm)

Good night!

My Detox Journey - The Shopping List

2009-09-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

Today I shopped at Whole Foods. And can I just say, wow, it was fun! On Mondays all three of my kids are in school at the same time for about 2 hours so I had 2 hours to pour over every organic, natural, and gluten-free item in the store.

For those of you following me on my detox journey, here is a general listing of foods to eat & foods to avoid during these next 10 days:

EAT ME:

Fresh Fruits & Veggies (organic, any & all)

Rice (all, but brown rice is better)

Rice Crackers, Rice Cakes, Rice Milk

Legumes (split peas, garbanzos, pinto, etc)

Nuts & Seeds (raw, unsalted)

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Green Tea (or herbal)

100% unsweetened juices

8 glasses of room temp. tap water

All herbs & spices

Balsamic Vinegar

Fish

AVOID ME:

Red Meat

Dairy

Yeast

Sugar (artificial sweetner included)

Chocolate

High Fats

Wheat/Gluten (pasta, breads)

Salt (sea salt is okay)

Caffeine (1 cup a day of black coffee is okay)

Alcohol

Now, this list is just my own personal conglomerate of all the lists I've researched. On some sites they say NO CAFFEINE PERIOD. But then I found several that say one cup of coffee a day won't sabotage the detox (and I know I'll appreciate my mornings more with my hot cup o' joe). Some say no meats at all, others say fish is okay. I have found that you can be a die hard or go about the 10 days in a more lax manor, making it more a general rule to follow (of course the further along the die hard line you go the better the system flush). I mixed and matched a bit but am going to approach my list in a fairly purist view and see if I can completely avoid the avoid-ables and focus wholly on the "eat me" list.

In preparing for my shopping list I decided I should embrace fall's harvest and think "soup"y thoughts (of course with tomorrow's promise of mid 90's I'll have to wait a bit before it FEELS fall-like here in the NW!). Kathy has a GREAT recipe book here that inspires me to have a diverse collection of soups in my repertoire (The New England Soup Factory Cookbook by Druker & Silverstein, 2007). With this great tool, I constructed a shopping list that will allow me to create several pots of yummy soups including the Syrian Chickpea Soup with Lemon & Tahini, Italian Vegetable Soup & Rice, and Yellow Split Pea Soup with Pumpkin. I also planned for snacks of rice crackers, cashews (raw, of course), and yummy juices as well as tomatoes, plums, oranges, and grapes (all organic).

It sure was fun stocking the pantry and fridge with all these healthy, yummy items. I'm sure I'll miss my sugary treats at first, but I hope I find myself feeling so much better by the end of the next 10 days that those sugary goodies become what they were always meant to be, just a special "treat."

Fall Equinox Detox - Fad?

2009-09-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

What do the following have in common?

Pet Rocks

Furbies

Telephone Booth Stuffing

Bellbottoms

Cabbage Soup Diet

Yes, they are all fads that our American culture has seen and for some embraced for quite a lengthy amount of time (I still own a Cabbage Patch Kid and slinky, do you? You couldn't find a mini skirt in my wardrobe, though)

It seems to me that fashion and health fads are those that go through the most frequent change. In fact, just as I get bold enough to join in on one, it seems as if the next latest and greatest has replaced it and the old fad is now bombarded with criticism and deemed "so last week." (woe to my stone washed jeans in a dark rinse jean era!)

However, there are those fads that may look on the outside like just another fleeting fad but then stick around for so long that they make it to "American culture" status (the classic little black dress that never goes out of style, or the popularity of reading Lord of the Rings & Jane Austin books come to mind).

That being said, I do not know know if the idea of a yearly Food Detox is something that will stick around in our American culture, but it sure has been around for quite a while in other areas of the world. The Chinese, Ancient Eyptian and Greek cultures have always embraced the idea of detoxifying the body. Now that in and of itself means little to me. I actually think the invention of modern medicine is pretty wonderful. However, the more that I research the idea of a food detox I am finding myself thinking that detoxification is one of those diet/health fads that I actually think may be worth it's weight in, well not gold but, uh, vegetables. It's worth it's weight in Organic Veggies, okay?

My friend Emily is a health and wellness coach who assures me that the body is naturally quite efficient in detoxifying itself (this is a point also by many detox neigh-sayers). However, she says in the times we live in we are susceptible to toxins found in our water, non-organic foods, and even the air we breathe. "For this reason periodic detoxes can work to cleanse your systems, make things run smoother, increase energy, clear up blemishes, reduce headaches and joint pain, improve digestion, reduce signs of PMS, and just generally make you feel better," says Emily. Well, I'm all about having more energy, less PMS symptoms, fewer blemishes and just an all around better feeling me.

I have other reasons for thinking about detox this fall. I am looking to become a healthier eater and trying to incorporate more veggies and fruit into my day. I want to have more creative ways of bringing the love of good foods into my family's life and I would also love to lose a few pounds in the process. Diets just don't do it for me. I won't say "no" to bread. I simply will not. Okay, so I'll say no for 10 days, but I will never successfully change my lifestyle to exclude the wonderful yeasty stuff. I won't forever give up ice cream. Won't do it. Nor will I give up steak & potatoes (again, 10 days is one thing). But for those diets to work, you do have to change your lifestyle in a way I'm not willing to change. What I am willing to do is "everything in moderation." But in all honesty, moderation is something I'm going to have to build up to, but I do think it is a healthy and noble goal that I can reasonably achieve. So as an "adieu" to the guilt and unhealthy habits I've sunk into I am saying farewell with a detox send-off!

Detox diets say to abstain from alcohol, sugar, caffeine, dairy, wheat, red meat and high fats for a 10 day period. Raw fruits & veggies (organic), rice, nuts & seeds, extra virgin olive oil and beans are to be the bulk of your food intake during this time instead. And the amounts aren't monitored, but with the addition of 8 glasses of room temp tap water (bottled water isn't monitored by the FDA and can contain toxins) will likely curb a lot of my appetite. I won't be purchasing any "detox drinks" or kits, but purely focusing on eating what grows and enjoying the bounties of harvest time.

So with this info, I am beginning to prepare myself for my Fall Equinox Detox. I'm still researching and trying to find some great recipes for this upcoming event. And for anyone who is interested I thought I'd blog my discoveries and thoughts along the way.

So if you are interested, stay tuned!

9/11

2009-09-11T10:03:00.001-07:00

Eight years ago Tim and I were preparing to leave our Aurora condo for another day teaching at Aurora Christian Academy. I was 6 months pregnant with a baby boy (at the time we were calling him alternately Jacob Calvin / Calvin Jacob, of course neither one stuck). On the way to school we listened to the radio and heard the first of several sketchy reports about a plane and a tower. After we arrived, I headed up stairs to the music room and my office to set up a few things. I then continued down the hall to morning meeting were I heard TVs in each room I passed. I wondered at what I'd learn when I finally stopped to look at one.

Everyone's eyes were glued to the scene. First, one smoking tower. Then right before our eyes we saw live the second plane. Now there were two towers. My heart raced at the unreal scene. We allowed TVs on for the rest of the day and very little music education went on that day (save the youngest classes who happily sang along with me). After the school day, teachers got together to try and comprehend what had happened.

I remember specifically looking down at my ever growing belly and wondering at the type of world we were bringing a child into. Not only were towers falling, but schools were sites of gun rampages, hurricanes were flooding, and tornadoes destroying. I was trying to make sense out of all the chaos that was so out of my control. This little precious life inside me-- how was I going to protect him?

So many things have come to my mommy mind during this earthly journey when I think of the world I'm sending my children out into. Mostly I am drawn back to the fact that my Heavenly Father has allowed His children to remain here, and even sent his perfect glorious Son to this very earth. And although it is not in my control, it is in His.

This week Simon Caleb (a much more fitting name, don't you think?) started 2nd grade and our Eowyn Grace started Kindergarten at Walnut Grove. I pray that God carries them along in His infinitely more powerful and capable arms as they depart from my fragile wings each day.

DMB: Sunday, September 6, 2009

2009-09-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

I have a new friend. We have a lot in common. This past year I have found it easy to be myself around him and even though he has been a blank slate to me, I am now slowly beginning to sketch out a likeness of who he really is. We started out all formality and politeness, however after this past months I've been able to break down some of the facade and see what he's really passionate about and just who he really is. And he's amazing. He's my brother.

I am just now realizing the special bond blood carries with it. There is so much unsaid between us because we both have similar ways of thinking. There is so much we never HAVE to say because we just know, given our shared upbringing. True we get to going on and on with "remember that time..." but mostly it's just a look of "oh, yeah, I know..." that lets us know we are both on the same page.

Now before anyone begins to get all misty-eyed at the above sentiments, I want to clarify my intentions for this post. Although our friendship has grown exponentially this past year, there is something my brother didn't previously know about me, that is until this past Sunday.

This past Sunday on Labor Day weekend Tim, Brian and I drove out to George, Washington and the Gorge Amphitheatre to see The Dave Matthews Band. Brian, anticipating the 4+ hour long drive, had me bring along my ipod so we could listen to a variety of music. Now, Brian appreciates Dave and even owns a couple older albums. Tim and I, as you all know, are Dave Fanatics. Ask us who our #1 band is, well, Duh. It's almost the same as asking us if we are UNC or Duke fans (Duh, and if you don't know, shame shame).

So we plugged our ol' pod into the stereo and played some Last Stop and Don't Drink the Water until I realized I had a 2003 Gorge live recording of the same 2 songs, so we put those on again to hear Dave live in the same place we'd soon be experiencing Dave. Brian mentioned he didn't want to OD on Dave so we cleansed our palate with Moody Blues, Killers and yes, even some Hispanic ballads, to which we poetically formed our own lyrics to.

As we closed in on the Amphitheatre we again returned to some Dave and pepped ourselves up for the show. We grabbed blankets, hit the porta potties (insert here many a comment being snidely made about the length of time folks actually spent in the honey bucket - who would want to do anything but pee and leave?) and headed for the entrance. We got patted down, bags checked and promptly began looking to see if any prime real estate was available on the grass in the general admission.

We finally settled on a great spot view-wise (especially considering how late we had arrived) and the boys set off to get the necessary beer & fried food. We shared our Coors Lights & chicken strips and enjoyed the amazing view out at the Columbia River just behind the stage. The sun was setting. I was starting to get that "OH MY GOSH WE ARE GOING TO SEE DAVE MATTHEWS" feeling, looked at Brian and let out a "eeek!" of excitement. I had to explain to him that I was very VERY excited.

This is when Brian saw his sister in a light few have ever seen her: at a Dave concert.

As the sun set and the audience lights went out, Dave and crew came out and I screamed. When Carter made his first warm up beat on the drum, I yelled. When I saw Tim Reynolds for the first time in my life and knew I was going to hear him rock us out on his electric, I threw my hands up in the air. In short: I was in concert mode. There's Kari and then there's concert Kari.

It went a little like this:

One Sweet World - oh yeah, Dave, sing to me
Funny the Way It Is - images flashing behind the band created a great feel for this song
and then...the one we'd been waiting for:
Why I Am - Tim and I were dancing along with the Groo Grux King (We miss you LeRoi!!!)
Seven - Dave's song written in 7/4 time was AMAZING LIVE. "Momma told me boy someday that girls gonna take your mind and then you'll know...
So Damn Lucky into
Typical Situation (sniff)
Spaceman - these past few songs there has been an overfriendly girl flirting with Tim, who is not oblivious but is trying to be semi-polite
You & Me - As an attempt to make it clear that Tim was mine this song appropriately came next so we "danced" together (we can't actually dance, but we do "dance") as we sang to each other "You & me together we can do anything baby!"
Trippin' Billies - A time for Boyd to shine on his fiddle! The man can PLAY! Carter goes berserk. And not only that but the song is going on and on and I am hoping Brian is enjoying an oldie from Dave after at strong start of his newest material
Raven - What? Raven? No WAY! We've never even heard of this one on a live set list! And it was one off an album Brian had and knew! We were all super stoked to be among the few elite to hear this one live
Caveman - with special artist & banjo player Danny Barnes
Recently - another great oldie (perhaps THE oldest oldie!)
Road - after which we heard Stephan take the stage solo and begin his famous intro to:
Crush - oh yeah, crush me...
Squrim - it wasn't a foregone conclusion I'd get to hear this new one live, but when it was played Brian may have had to plug his ears as I screamed out "OPEN UP YOUR HEAD/OPEN UP YOU PRIMITIVE" , yeah, it was great.
Shake Me Like a Monkey - oh yeah, we shook...
and then, the one Brian specifically requested from Dave was played...
Two Step - 18 minutes of aerobics. Brian may have gotten dizzy standing next to a Kari jumping bean.
And they left the stage. We knew it wasn't over, we just didn't know what 2 songs we'd hear as encore, so we started making guesses. I thought they'd bring it down for the first one so I voted "Old Dirt Hill" followed by "Ants", Tim and surrounding fans also shouted out favorites and then they came out again and treated us to a straight up and solid rendition of
Grey Street
and
Time Bomb - which I cannot get out of my head because it rocked like nothing had ever rocked before and if I had any fears of Dave's recent vocal chord injury, I needn't worry because here it is, the end of 3 huge days at the Gorge and Dave has solidly bolted out each amazing melody and then continues to end with Time Bomb (to which I was willing to carry him through should he need my vocals on "Baby when I get home/ I want to believe in Jesus/ hammer in the final nail/ I want to pick up the pieces"!!!!!!)

The band leaves. Carter throws out at least 20 pair of drum sticks to the sea of piranhas hungry for a souvenir from an amazing night.

And we all drove home. Well, Brian drove home, having new fodder with which to better understand and make me out: this, his crazy big sister.

~K

Morning Musings

2009-08-21T10:11:00.001-07:00

I went out for a walk again this morning. Going on a week now, I've ventured out on foot each morning and got the blood pumping through my tired veins. It's a simple loop, not quite 2 miles and I love walking it. I start out down the neighborhood streets and smell the woodiness of Tower Park, my own personal backyard forest. Further down I encounter the wild blackberries that adorn the leaves with bright green, vivid red and midnight purple blackberries as a strand of jewels on a necklace. Their sweet ripeness invigorate me and inspire my feet to match the beat of my ipod tunes.

Gracie. My warm up song. I think of how quickly my Eowyn is growing up. "You'll be a lady soon but until then you gotta do what I say." I sniff back the oncoming tear and push forward

As I turn off onto the main street today I wonder if the sprinkling of rain will turn into showers or taper off. I laugh as I think of how the NW terminology has come back to me. I heard that the Eskimos have over 60 words to describe different types of snow (though now as I look it up I see it is possibly a falsehood and very much up for debate) and know that Pacific Northwesters do the same thing with rain. There's mists, sprinkles, showers, steady streams, downpours and wet rain (no, really, there is such a thing!) to name a few.

One Headlight. This one picks up my pace and I'm ready to go. "We'll run until she's out of breath/ she ran until there's nothing left/ she hit the end-it's just her window ledge." Keeping on.

I encounter the construction going on and note that I am doing the "pedestrian" thing where I walk counter to the traffic direction so I can wander onto the shoulder as the lanes narrow with people in their cars driving off to work. Work. When will work come? How long do we wait? And what exactly are we waiting for? A miracle, no doubt. But we are impatient people at the core. How long do we hope, waiting for life to begin. It didn't used to be this hard. There have been days where I know exactly what my life is, and that what I am doing is making a difference. It's been a while since I've felt that I've made any sort of difference (save for the life of my children whom of course I put highest on my priorities as a mother and do not mean to lessen the importance of that noble roll I've been called to). 10 months in the whole scheme of things isn't a long time. But when you are living it, it may as well be 10 years.

40: Steady on. "How long to sing this song? How long to sing this song? How long, how long, how long, how long to sing this song?"

I've turned the second corner of my loop, which is my second favorite length of road to do. It is wide and newly developed. New tallish duplexes with overgrown weeds filling the awaiting sites flank my left side and older ranch style homes with established yards, my right. I remember trying to bring Knightley, our 10 year old border collie, along with me on my walk a while back. Sweet thing that he is, he is NOT fun to take along on a stead-as-you-go walk. He does just fine staying near me, until a car comes along when then he feels the need to crouch down and jerks me sideways as the car passes and barks a very unconvincing warning to the 4 wheeled threat. I also recall just this week trying out Stray on my walk. Whereas she couldn't care less about the cars, she is a puller. Gasp, cough, shake my head, cough, cough. GASP! It went on the entire way. Certainly she'd figure it out 1/2 way through and tire out a bit. No. So on I go, sans dog today.

The Story: This one reminds my feet to keep up. The quick pace that really should be a jog, but I catch 3 steps in a row here and there to the beat. "All of these lines across my face tell you the story of who I am."

On the Radio: Ah, my favorite. I'm glad when this one comes on. Easily I glide to the beat and revel in the rich lyrics. "This is how it works/ you're young until you're not/ you love until you don't/ you try until you can't/ you laugh until you cry/ you cry until you laugh/ and everyone much breathe until their dying breath." Breathe, Kari.

The third turn. The uphill battle home. This is the worst stretch. There's no shoulder on the side I like to walk on and always several cars coming down the hill towards me. I try to politely do my part to scoot over, but vehicles have to fade into the oncoming lane to safely avoid me. So I try to push myself, which is hard because not only am I nearing the end and therefore already a bit winded, but also because of the incline. But I push all the harder, my thoughts on nothing but my footing and pace.

Deck the Stills. Yes, a silly Christmas song is in my exercise mix. And it is the BEST thing for me, especially at this point in my walk. Not only is it fast-paced, but it is hilarious and always puts me in the mood to bust it out and MOVE. "Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Crosby, Stills and Nash," etc...

Finally I make the final turn back into my forest neighborhood and I am revived. Excited to see my kids again, to see what they've been doing the past 25 minutes. This sounds silly, but really, just give me a few minutes to myself to think or to not think, and I'm a better mom for it.

So I'm home just as "Hard Candy" starts up. I turn the volume down and see Simon, having finished his "job" of picking up dog poo for the day and he is looking forward to some well earned xbox time. Lego Indiana Jones. Eowyn is making a new fuse beads bird and wants me to iron it together. Sean is in need of a peanut butter honey. Suzanne is here. Tim is here. THey are laughing together downstairs.

Life is beautiful/ but it's complicated/ we barely make it/ we don't need to understand/ there are miracles.

Thank you, God, for this moment. I can see it clearly now. This is a miracle.
~k

Kid Speak

2009-08-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

8:00 pm last night
The kids are not tired so we wander outside as the cool of evening closes in around us and play a rousing game of "I spy". After the majority of the backyard items are used up, I thought we could exercise our other senses and I tell the kids to breathe in deeply and tell me what they smell.
Eowyn: I smell flowers!
Kari: Oh, yes. It smells so "green" tonight!
Eowyn: I smell leaves!
Kari: What do you smell, Sean?
Sean: I smell a SPACESHIP!

9:30 am this morning
Eowyn, my late sleeper, decides to grace us with her presence and descends the stairs to the main floor. She informs me that she is hungry so I begin to pour a bowl of 1/2 KIX 1/2 Rice Krispys for the girl. As I'm adding the milk (lots of milk, please Mommy):
Eowyn: "What?! No! I already WENT potty!!"
I turn around wondering if that exclaimation was directed at me
Kari: "Um, Eowyn...I didn't say anything, but do you NEED to go potty?"
Eowyn: "No! I was talking to myself. I need to go potty but I JUST WENT and I want to eat my cereal first!"

Oh my...
~k

Hope

2009-08-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

"This is our last parting, Estel, my son. I am aged by care, even as one of lesser Men; and now that it draws near I cannot face the darkness of our time that gathers upon Middle-earth. I shall leave it soon."Aragorn tried to comfort her, saying: "Yet there may be a light beyond the darkness; and if so, I would have you see it and be glad."But she answered only with this linnod [line of verse]:

Onen i-Estel Edain, u-chebin estel anim.

[I gave Hope to Men; I kept none for myself.]***

Aragorn: As I have begun, so I will go on. We come now to the very brink, where hope and despair are akin.
***
Pippin: Tell me, is there any hope? For Frodo, I mean; or at least mostly for Frodo.
Gandalf: There never was much hope. Just a fool’s hope, as I have been told.
***

DENETHOR: All hope is lost. The city has fallen.

PIPPIN: No, my lord. Hope yet remains.

DENETHOR: Hope?! What does a hobbit know of hope?

***
Frodo: All right, Sam Lead me! As long as you've got any hope left. Mine is gone.

***
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. (I Peter 3:15)
***

My hope is built on nothing less
My hope is built on nothing less
My hope is built on nothing less than
Jesus' blood and righteousness

~k

When We Work Together, We Work the Best!

2009-07-31T10:33:00.000-07:00

I am in the kitchen wrapping foil around our freshly baked and cooled zucchini bread. One with walnuts, one without (aka adult version & kid version). It was finally a cool enough morning I thought I could safely risk heating the oven up as I use a beautiful zucchini freshly plucked from our little backyard garden. In my mind I am thinking about the renovations that are happening this weekend and thinking of my to-do list (we will be painting and laying down wood floors on the main floor).

1) Clean out pantry
2) Bring toys upstairs
3) Pack clothes for move over to Grannie & Poo Bah's
4) Mention we are low on dog food
5) Clean up main floor of all our stuff

My ears perk up as I hear Eowyn chant: "When we work together, We work the BEST!" I smile and wonder if that is an Eowyn original or if she heard that somewhere. My curiosity gets the best of me and I peer around the corner to see the children piling up every pillow, blanket, bean bag, sleeping bag and stuffed animal in the house. So much for cleaning up the main floor!

Then I see that they are jumping on top of the plush pile with chuckles of glee.
How could I resist this photo op?
~k

How We've Tried Keeping It Cool

2009-07-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

The Pacific NW has been, to put it bluntly, hot. Given the chance to speak with a bit more panache I'd say that the record breaking weather has been drip drop sweating, ice pop craving, sunblock slathering, yick yuck murmuring, and in all ways has melted all desire to be productive or to do ANYTHING until it's slip sliding away. it's a sad day when even showering gives no relief because as soon as you step out of the glorious stream of cool H2O, the heat strikes and you feel like you are covered in sweat...again.

We are lucky to have one room that has the most blessed of all appliances on days like this: The Air Conditioner. We here in the PNW do not often need A/C units and so they are not necessarily common (I would venture to wager that this year has brought on good business for A/C retailers here in greater Portland). So I do feel blessed to have one, as our temperature in Vancouver hit 108 yesterday. The day before that 106. Today, wow only 98. Where's my sweater and mittens?

I really do not enjoy sitting around during the day. My computer room is hot (nix my facebook perusing), my bedroom is hot (nix naps to sleep the heat away) and the kitchen is hot (nix baking comfort foods, like fresh from our garden zucchini bread) and of course our backyard is hot (nix sprinkler time in the middle of the day when we have no shade). HOT HOT HOT. So what does a mom of 3 energetic kids do? And for little or, perferrably no money? Thankfully I found a few places to keep cool.

Tuesday: Leverich Park
I packed a full on picnic and had the kids put on their swimsuits, hoping to find a stream to wade in that was not in direct sunlight. So at 11 am the kids and I piled into our van (with no a/c) left the windows rolled down and cruised West on SR 500 listening to our VBS tunes. Everytime I looked back in the rear view mirror I saw Eowyn doing all the motions to Hillsong United's "Jesus You're My Superhero" and Tree63's "Joy" (too cute). We pulled off at the last exit before 500 turns into 1-5 and curl around to Leverich Park. I skip the first parking area and head down to the next one where it was nice and shady, hoping as I park that we'll find a similarly shady area next to the stream that runs through the park. To my shagrin we do. Crossing over the first bridge but before the second bridge there is a spot during that time of day that is shady with a small "beach" next to the stream. The kids and I stayed for an hour and a half in the same spot splashing up and down the slow moving current. We did learn about not letting go of our toys in the water though, least it be lost to the power of the water. What I learned from that trip was A) have water shoes - it was very rocky and B) bring a book because the kids would have stayed there another hour if I'd have let them!

Wednesday: Troutdale
I knew it was going to be the hottest day of the week and it was already 1:00 in the afternoon before I got the urge to get up and get out of dodge. This time packing snacks and plenty of water, I grabbed our video camera, water toys and towels and set off to a tributary that flows into the Columbia in the Troutdale area. Taking 84 East the kids and I set off listening to The Friend's Puppet's "Invasion of the Gospel Snatchers" at full volume because of course windows were rolled all the way down. Taking Exit 17 and following the signs for the Historic Columbia River Hwy, we turned left behind the outlets and just a mile or so after that crossed a narrow bridge with a busy river running under. Immediately after crossing the bridge we turned into a very busy parking lot and made our own parking space near one end. Simon grabbed the towel bag while I had everything else on my shoulders. Not quite sure how to get down to the bank, we peered down a few trails that were quite steep and I wondering exactly how we'd accomplish the feat with flip flops, bags galore and unsure footed children. The answer was simply the nice young men who offered to help us get down. There are still gentlemen in the world! And yes, in Oregon! With their help we got our stuff down and ourselves down with much dirt and sweat, ready to rub on the sunscreen (oh how I wished I'd done that before the dirt and sweat) and jump into the river. We happened to find the beach area with a slow moving part of the river, blocked off from the get-your-intertube-and-float-down-the-river rushing side. It looked like such fun that I made a mental note to bring Tim for some big kid river time. Our side of the river was pretty shallow, but uneven so there were spots the kids could "swim". But it was NOT shady. The kids and I were white with sunscreen, though, and being on the river made it bearable even with the record breaking temps. What I learned from this trip was A) have water shoes - the riverbed was not so much sandy as it was covered with small rocks and B) do not bring 8 different bags with you - the climbing up of the path proved just as difficult as the trying to not fall down the path, again, thank you to the young men who offered to help this poor old mother of 3.

Thursday: Free Movie!
Regal Cinemas offers Free Movies on Tuesday during the summer. I knew this, but had not taken advantage of it until I heard they were extending this particular week into Free movies on Tues, Wed AND Thurs. They start at 10 am and you get a choice between 2 second run (or older) kid friendly movies. Here in Vancouver, Cascade Cinemas and Cinemas 99 are those to choose from for this event. The kids and I, still in our jammies at 9:00 am decided to hustle our buns into clothes and jumped into the van, windows rolled down, this time cruising with MY choice of CDs (thankyou Killers for your new album, can't wait to see you in September) and headed down 205 to the Mill Plain exit where almost every light down to 164th was green in our favor (not always the case). I didn't know what to expect. Did we get a ticket? Do we just go in? Do they force you into the popcorn line to recoup lost money? So I just followed the crowd, who were indeed just passing up the ticket counter and heading directly into the theatre. The employees looked perfectly happy, not at all annoyed, at all the hustle and bustle of little children. Instead of handing over a ticket folks informed the clerk what movie they were interested in seeing and were pointed in the right direction. For us it was "Everyone's Hero." I'd never heard of it, but Tim said it was about baseball and was a cartoon. It was just the right fit for my kids. Not scary, but pretty cute for a kid movie. We were there early and they had a kid version of "The 20" that previewed G-Force and Stormy with a Chance of Meatballs and other odds and ends, keeping the kids entertained. It was cool, kept the kids entertained for a couple hours, and pretty relaxing, seeing as everyone's kids made noise, not just yours. Something different and fun. What I learned was A) bring your own drinks, for while home brought Nilla wafers are a good snack, it makes the throat dry and a large soda is still $5.50 (yes, they recouped some cost from us!) and B) be sure to arrive at least 20 minutes early for a decent choice of seating.

So those have been our excursions during the past 3 days. Still more warm days ahead of us, so please share your ideas for keeping it cool. I would LOVE to hear them :)

~k
.0

On a Lighter Note

2009-06-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

Brian Regan, Portland Loves You!!!

Kathy, Brian, Tim and I got to go see our favorite comedian live at the Arlene Schnizter Concert Hall last night. After we filled our stomachs with beer and yummy food at the downtown Rock Bottom we quickly walked some of our dinner off finding our way up to Broadway and Main.

Half way through our ascent through Portland's streets we got behind several couples obviously dressed for a show and heading our direction. Tim threw out a few Brian Regan lines with the perfect inflection but no one laughed except for our group who quickly finished his line, proving us to be the more die hard Regan fans. You can be dressed up to hear Brian at a concert hall, but it doesn't make you a fan. In fact, I was one of the more casually dressed in my khaki capris and Boston hoodie, but at least I knew what 'toid he was working on.

As we neared the concert hall I was pleased to discover that several die hard fans were indeed living in Portland. We heard several old favorites coming from fan like "Grape Sno-cone!" and "The big yellow one is the SUN!" We fit right in.

We had just enough time to use the bathrooms and find our seats before the show started. The opening act was a pleasant surprise. Seattle resident Kermit Apio warmed up the crowd with his is hilarious observations of day to day life as a 41 year old father who grew up in Hawaii with an unforgiving first name (unless you happened to be Celtic and then you'd see not a frog but a warrior...but come on, Kermit???) Much of his schtick zeroed in on things parents of toddlers would know most and after a rousing version of "Fruit Salad...Yummy Yummy" Tim and I were nearly falling out of our seats.

After Kermit we had a bit of a wait, but we were all on pins and needles anxious to see the well known walk out of a favorite comedian. And we were not disappointed. With a good measure of dopiness and panache Brian Regan graced the stage and started off with a timely bit on a jaunt out to the Appalachian Trail. It only got better as we heard over an hour of 95% new material coming at us. The few times a bit came that we'd heard either from a late night show or DVD we happily anticipated the punchline saying it along with him when the time was right. It was such fun to see him live, where he could flounder a bit at a joke going wrong but with sharp ad lib and hilarious facial expression save it.

He ended with a bit about text messaging that had me rolling in the aisles and left me gasping for air. If he'd gone any longer I may have passed out. It was awesome. As we had hoped, an encore came after the crowd roared with applause. His encore, as fans know, is to come out and have the audience yell out a distinct word from one of his bits that he struggles, to everyone's delight, to make a smooth segue into ("Just yesterday I was thinking about...blah blah blah." or "Today I went to the doctor's and ....yadda yadda). Tim and I were too far back to be heard but were thrilled when BOTH our requests were uttered by the closer audience members and we got to hear "We've gotta 3 fig newton eater here." "3 fig newtons?!?! Can't he read?!?!" (kari's fav) as well as "I don't know what the weight is and I don't know what girth means!" (tim's fav). We also heard the rare "Indian Giver" which was, of course, very very funny.

We left with aching cheeks and feeling that laughter is indeed the best medicine.

~kari

The Story of a Condo

2009-06-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

"He was never mine to lose/
Why regret what could not be..."

Disclaimer: Les Miz fans forgive me for the poor parallel I'm going use to connect this masterpiece of a song. I love the musical, so I feel some license to use it :)

This is a story of a condo. A condo and it's owners:

In 2001 a young married couple bought the most charming little condo in Aurora, Colorado. Even as they signed the papers one fateful day that Spring, they didn't know to what extent they had signed.

First, they didn't realize that they were pregnant with their first child. They didn't know that in a matter of 9 months they'd be squeezing a simple white hand-me-down crib next to their bed in the open loft that was their bedroom. They didn't know that a second baby would follow which meant a toddler bed also found it's way into the already crowded loft.

They made an attempt to sell their beloved condo. The first weeks were encouraging. Several prospects made their way through their home and for a while it was the most visited property of it's kind! After a couple of weeks, however, there were fewer and fewer. And no offers.

Tired of keeping the house spotless for viewers and in light of the economy's turn for the worse, the wife suggested they could make a this condo fit their family of four. Her husband nodded in agreement and life continued in their little home sweet home.

They didn't know, however, that a third child would come so quickly after the second.

The family of almost five had to find a new home. Selling wasn't an option for as the months went by the economy fell deeper. They decided, reluctantly, yes even with a $300 loss each month (rent did not equal the mortgages and HOA fees) to become landlords, certain the economy would return in a year or two.

The first tenant was from God. A man who owned a bed and breakfast in Nova Scotia. This was ideal, for he knew the importance of on time payments and how to keep up a property. But after a year and a half he was ready to move on.

"Can we sell it now?" the couple asked. No. They could not.

The second tenant was a house cleaner by trade. She got a fresh start at getting her credit back up after a divorce and in turn the landlords got a lady who treated the place wonderfully, even repainting the entire home and upgrading the bathroom and kitchen with her wall art free of charge. But time, too, came for her to move on.

The third tenant, a young single woman, was more of a risk. But in the wife's heart, she knew it was the right thing to do, to offer their condo to someone who needed a fresh start. And the woman loved the condo as her own. If she could have, she would have bought it. But it wasn't to be.

And so the landlords found them, after years of losing money on their sweet little condo, having to pursue a short sale. It killed them to think of giving it up for half of what it was worth when they purchased it in 2001. But who could have foreseen the economy's drop? So with much help from a trusted realtor friend, good and true, they continued to put forth months of anxious waiting and paperwork. Many months, each one getting more frusterating than the last, only to hear that even in this, this small measure of dignity to do the right thing by finding a buyer in the awful market they were in, it was not meant to be. Something had been overlooked, something that made the short sale impossible.

And the couple, tired of it all, just nodded to each other. Okay. This was how it was to be.

Foreclosure.

But when the wife thinks about this condo, she sees the home her son and daughter first knew. The duck pond and the sweet neighbors who oohed and aahed over hersweet toddlers . The awesome kitchen and cabin-esque feel of the fire place and wrought iron accents on the cabinets. Meeting friends within those walls who would become family. It was within that home that she learned a great deal about her relationship with Jesus. Many, many memories.

But it comes to mind, that it wasn't her condo. It was entrusted to them for a time. It comes to mind that her God, well... He gives and takes away. Perhaps some people see failure. Failure to provide. Failure to keep a promise. But she can't help but feel that her God sees past all that. Perhaps her God doesn't look at her credit score to judge her by. Perhaps He sees a family who did the best with what they had, and in doing so blessed at least three other people who lived within it's prayed over walls during their time of ownership.

The wife can see some of that now. It was really never hers to lose. If her money is God's, then He will do with it what He wants. If her home is God's, then He will do with it what He will. If her job, her car, or even harder to admit: her children...

This quote comes back to me over and over:

Frodo: "I wish none of this had happened."
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

All the wife can do is decide what to do with the time given her. And today she is clothed, fed, roofed, and loved. That is why I can go this week to Vacation Bible School and tell kids about God's mercies. Because I have experienced them first hand.

My heart will choose to say "Blessed be Your Name, Oh God."

~kari

Kidspeak

2009-06-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

At Safeway. Putting groceries on conveyer belt.

Si: What is this?

K: Hummus.

Si: Oh.

K: You like hummus, don't you? I thought you liked hummus.

Si: I liked hummus when I was my age...

At home. Morning.

Sean: I'm gonna hug your head!

At home. Kids all eating goodies around the dinner table.

Sean: Eowyn, can I have one?

E: (ignoring little brother)

K: Say "please," bud.

Sean: PLEASE!

E: (still ignoring)

K: Sean, you've already had your goody. It's up to her if she wants to share.

E: (finally chiming in) I'm not up to it.

~kari

Mama's Got a New Pair of Shoes!

2009-06-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

I finally did it. I broke down and bought a new pair of $2.50 Old Navy flip flops. This is no small thing because I only buy new things for myself then the things themselves have worn out until they die. These ones had indeed died. My first clue was when I realized that walking barefoot would be more comfortable than trying to wear these. After all they were $2.50 flip flops. What can you expect from them, really? Clue #2 is a bit more embarrassing...it was the fact that I cannot remember when I bought them. I know it wasn't last year. I know it wasn't the year before that, so they are at least 3 or 4 summers old. $2.50 Old Navy flip flops were never intended to be worn for more than one summer. In fact I figure they make them so cheap so you can own one in most any color and then alternate them for one summer and still only have spent $20. But me, no. I buy the most generic color and wear them everyday for 4 summers. Well this year I splurged. Not ONLY did I replace my favorite navy pair, but I went crazy and bought a brown pair. I won't have to buy another pair for YEARS! **NOTE** If you see me ten years down the road with the same pair, please tell me it's time to replace them.

~kari

It Is No Bad Thing To Celebrate A Simple Life

2009-06-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

Sean turned four in style this past Sunday, June 14th. Our flag day baby is a baby no more! I sigh as I realize the baby years are behind me, and yet relish the wonderful stage Tim and I are entering as parents of school aged children. My children are indeed the most beautiful gifts God has bestowed upon me.

I am so happy to be where a simple life can be celebrated with much pomp and circumstance. Being around family during these times is irreplaceable. In Denver the first few years were sparse for bodies to celebrate with, although the few who came were the truest of friends, indeed. And as the years out there went by, our "family" grew and grew and our celebrations became even grander. I know that God gave them to us as family. I love them as my "brothers and sisters" and "aunts and uncles" to my kids. I know they would have carried such a responsibility willingly had God wished us to remain.

But perhaps, in part, a lesson was learned and God then saw it good for us to be with our blood, the deepest bond of unconditional love. I have a wonderful family. I know that is not something to take lightly: that I want my kids to grow up around our parents and aunts and uncles and cousins.

Gold and Silver.

Both families, God-given blessings.

But I digress from my musings and focus back on Sean's BIG #4! From water balloon tosses, to pop the water balloons wearing a "Larry-Boy" hat, to the big finale water balloon fight in the huge field behind the house, it was a wet and wild water party indeed! I got new callouses from tying so many water balloons (indeed as I rub at my finger, there's still a numb spot - ha!)

Sean didn't shy away from any activity and was most excited to just splash those plump colorful balloons at anyone walking by. Narry a bystander was left untouched...even if just by a wet wiggly body giving hugs.

I chose to make it easy on myself and have the kids decorate their own twinkies for the "cake". I couldn't get past the coincidence that twinkies and Larry-Boy are the same shape, so we went for green icing and lots of colorful marshmallows to decorate with. I believe it went over well (although I learned that my new 4 year old isn't a twinkie fan! Who knew???) And with Tim doing all the YUMMY BBQ-ing, I really hardly did a thing! But I think it was really fun for everyone, which is the measure I use to rank this among successful Denison parties!

It is gatherings like these, those few moments in time where we can look back at photographs of such memories that make life pause, even if just for a moment. And in the busyness of June, I am so happy to have these memories. As Bilbo Baggins aptly says "It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life" (even if Sean is only four, not 111 :)

~kari

Stop what you're doing and check this out...

2009-05-29T13:57:00.001-07:00

Check out this video, and then click around to find out more about Improv Everywhere. What a fantastically fun use of social networking and technology. I also recommend the No Pants Subway Rides video, or at least one of them. And certainly, certainly look at the MP3 experiments.

http://improveverywhere.com/2008/01/31/frozen-grand-central/

For more on the MP3 experiment as reported in the NY Times, see

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/28/technology/personaltech/28pogue-email.html?8cir&emc=cira1

Tim

Real Simple: Bath Toy Edition

2009-05-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

My children, at 7, 5, and almost 4, still prefer baths to showers. There's just something special about a few bubbles and a splashy bath toy. When Simon was small we did have a few store bought bath toys that got much love through the years. Since the move, however, we have very few "bath toys" (proper). We got rid of most non-essentials as we prepared to cross state lines, bath toys were among the items that got the boot. Thankfully Grandma had a few things she'd kept for visits that have been fun to play with in lieu of their old toys.

Today as I was running the bath, Sean noticed that the usual plastic cup and rubber ducky were not floating among the bubbles. I had thrown them in the dishwasher for a much needed wash. Seeing, through my child's eyes, that the warm bath seemed significantly less inviting without a toy or two, I ran through the house looking for plastic that could entertain the troops. It's amazing what can be fun in the bath:

TURKEY BASTER:

Original use: Moisterizing The Bird on Turkey Day
Kids' Bath time use: Moisterizing the sides of the tub, and good for removing bubbles off little brothers.

EASTER EGGS:

Orginal use: Holding jellybeans while nestled between leaves, grass, trees or couch cushions.
Kids' Bath time use: Holding tea for an imaginary teatime friend, and good for rinsing bubble off little brothers.

DINOSAUR SHAPED TOOTHBRUSH COVER:

Original use: Protecting your mouth from bathroom germs
Kids' Bath time use: Protecting your side of the tub from little brothers.

I'm sure everyone has used everyday items to spice up bathtime. Let me know what fun items you've used!
~Kari

I am not a platypus

2009-05-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

FACT: When children make you laugh, they then try to duplicate the funny thing over and over again hoping for more of your attention and laughter.

FICTION: Mom is a platypus.

Okay. How did I derive one from the other? In short, Sean thinks it's hilarious to call his dear ol' mother by her first name. The first time he figured out that Mom = Kari he thought his now enlightened self should call me by that new, funny name. And true enough, when he did, we laughed. It was cute and innocent. However, even now after I have reeducated Sean regarding his place in the world as my son, he still thinks it is funny. Shouts of "KARI!!!" followed by little boy snickers are now a common occurrence.

After a few more reeducation sessions, he finally calmed down and I found my proper title reinstated. But it didn't last long. Our family's new favorite cartoon is a show called Phinneas and Ferb. The whole show is built on reoccurring and very funny running gags. One of them involves a secret agent platypus who's alter ego is as the family's semi-aquatic pet mammal. His name is Perry. Perry the Platypus. Sounds an AWFUL lot like...you guessed it... So Sean's new name for me that almost always gets the desired reaction is "Hi Kari the platypus!" And only if he's really watching himself will he say "Hi Mommy the platypus!"

I'll let you decide...
~Kari

Dozer Day - 2009

2009-05-19T15:09:00.001-07:00

It's the British Way

2009-05-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

Charlie and Lola are two of our very favorite cartoon story characters in the Denison household. We have each gotten a bit more British in our everyday life. Now we say things like "to-MAH-to" and "let's go on holiday" and "ready, steady, go!" and "lovely!".
There's just such a sing song lilt to the phrases they use, it's irresistible to the kids and I.

Eowyn is Lola. She has absorbed the main character's mannerisms as if they were always her own. I admit that I can never correct her "bad english" because she is just too darn cute.

That being said, last summer we were eating watermelons and she had this to confess: "I will eat banana seeds, cookie seeds, cauliflower seeds and sort of cracker seeds, but I will not ever NEVER eat a watermelon seed!" I just about died trying to hide my laughter.

And again this morning she reminded me of the little hippity hoppity blonde cartoon character when we had this conversation:
E: "I'm hungry, can I have some more cereal?"
K: "No, but you can have some fruit. How about a banana?"
E: "I will not ever NEVER eat fruit. I do not like fruit."
K: "Oh is that so?"
E: "I'll have an apple."
K: (stiffling a laugh) "Eowyn..."
E: "I want LOTS of apples. I LOVE apples!"

It's just too much for me.
~Kari

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

2009-05-11T23:06:00.001-07:00

I cannot wait for Tim to get back home. I've not wanted to be the annoying left behind wife calling every hour on the hour: "Whatchadoin'?" Thankfully, texing is considered less invasive.

During his long weekend away Mother's day came and went. It was nice, really it was. I was needed at every turn, packed my own picnic lunch, wiped buns, washed hands, did dishes, took out the garbage. I wouldn't want to forget that I was a mom on mother's day, right? The bath I was thinking about never happened, but that's okay :) I was happy to be busy.

And the past few days I was successful to busy myself with church, visits to grannie and pooh bah's, baseball games, and I even finished a few neglected crossword puzzles. But everytime I left the house and returned again, I would see the Maxima and a little ache would find its way in my stomach. He's not really home. All the signs point that he's home, but I know that when I open the door and make my way around the house, I won't run into him. It's wonderful that our marriage has been one where we hardly are ever away from each other for nights at a time. Maybe that's stiffling for some couples, but not for me.

I never tire of knowing that whatever the day holds, whatever joys and sorrows the day brings, whatever the journey, I get to fall asleep with him by my side.

I miss that most. Come home safely, my Heart.

~Kari

Today, I...

2009-05-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

...woke up late (9:15 am Eastern)
had a terrific breakfast at Rita's cafe with Suzanne and Krys.
rode the T downtown.
toured the spectacular Boston Public Library
walked through the Public Gardens
took in Beacon Hill
got a lemonade in the Common
walked the Freedom trail
saw the Harbor
had bangers and mash at the Black Rose
plowed my way (with Suzanne) through the Haymarket, or as Suzanne described it - Hell
toured the North End and saw no less than 231 Italian restaurants
used Ladder 1's bathroom (Thanks BFD!)
decided not to walk across the Charlestown Bridge
saw the New England Holocaust Memorial (wow)
rode the T back to Brookline
and walked back to Suzanne's place...

...Now we're getting ready to watch Burn After Reading.

A good, good day.

~Tim

Zone-Out

2009-04-28T21:51:00.001-07:00

I am ashamed to say that I have perfected the "zone-out" : the ability to only hear "MOMMMMMMMYY!" when there is blood. It has been long in the making, but I actually will not hear my children calling for me in certain situations where I am focused, out of time and/or stressed (normally a combination of all three).

It was a particularly hectic morning when I found myself busying myself with the laundry & dishes, rushing to get a late bill paid and "encouraging" Simon out to the bus stop on time. I found myself in the "zone-out." Now when I'm in the state of "zone-out" I do HEAR my children, but I am not actually listening. So during this time I know I've heard my youngest calling out "MOMMMMMY!" several times through this hurried hour. But in my "zone-out" state I am basically ignoring him.

I finally get my lead footed son to clod his way up to the bus stop where in an instant his feet miraculously turn into those of a cheetah and is all energy and agility from then on. I return home to my son continuing to try and get his mother's attention.

Sean: "MOMMMMMMY!"
Me: "Yes, Sean."
Sean: "I love you."

I love you.

In all my hurried, "zone-out" state, I missed what was really important.

I am loved!

My heart broke. Split in two in a 2 second conversation.

His sweet little heart was trying to tell mine what was truly important. What I really needed to do on that busy morning was to chill out and rest in the fact that I am loved. Well, from that moment on I didn't allow myself to enter the "zone-out." And Sean continued to proclaim his love for his mommy and I reveled in the innocence of it. In the pure, unashamed confession of his heart. That's what matters.

Later in the day, I was driving the kids around and I heard it again:

Sean: "MOMMMMMMMMYYY!"
Me: "Yes, buddy?"
Sean: "I love you, Fart."

Sigh...

Yes, he's a boy.

~Kari

A compliment

2009-04-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

Simon has another baseball game today. It has been such fun and the weather seems to understand the role it's meant to play. We've had gorgeous days of sun and cool breezes. Frankly, I'm smitten. Every one of my senses is brought to life during baseball season: The visual brilliance of the green of the fields, the smell of freshly mowed grass juxtaposed with buttery popcorn, the taste of sunflower seeds, the sound of bats cracking and parents cheering, even the feel of the bleachers as we all have an understanding that personal space isn't necessary when you are cheering for the same team.

And watching 7 & 8 year olds get down and dirty, like only 7 & 8 year olds can.

Sigh.

Saturday was Jamboree where all the Central Vancouver teams were announced and applauded for. Previous year's accomplishments cheered for and banners were unfurled. Our team took home $150 towards their end of the year party for having raised the most money in our hit-a-thon! They were so excited.

We had team pictures and Tim brought his new camera to capture parent/child shots outside Fort Vancouver High School with the obligatory chain link backstop and aging bleachers with peeling paint in the backdrop. That old field has personality! And I don't think I noticed it all the years I was there.

There was quite a bit of down time between pictures and Jamboree and the "big boys" game we were going to watch as a team. It was during this time that Jobanna, one of the girls on the team with gorgeous thick black hair and the most beautiful face, was playing on the bleachers near me. It has been fun to watch her play ball with a team full of boys and she's great at it! I saw that her hair was specially done for picture day. "Jobanna, your hair looks so pretty today. It's beautiful!" She said thanks and then came right back with "I love your sweater. I want one just like it." I said thank you and had to laugh inside. It was a lightweight cream colored sweater that I wore because it was a cool morning working its way to a warm afternoon. I didn't feel particularly pretty because it was a bit stretched out and had a stain on the front I haven't been able to get out. But I wore it anyway,it wasn't MY picture day and I was comfy.

I thought about that interaction and wondered if she really meant it or if she is just as polite as her face is sweet. Perhaps she actually felt the words she said. Perhaps it was just instilled in her that you return compliments. Either way I think she just knew inside of her that compliments are nice. They feel nice and they are nice to give. Compliments, when given in earnest, build you up. Give you confidence. Make you feel beautiful.

And who doesn't want to feel that?

I look forward to really getting to know the kids and the parents on this team. God put us together for a reason and He has already given me a heart of love and yearning for them, for folks in my community I otherwise wouldn't have known! And I'm so glad I know them now.

Simon's week

2009-04-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

Today I let my oldest son, Simon, stay home from school. It's been a long week for him and I could tell he wasn't up to par most the week. It started with Sean staying home sick from Easter service on Sunday. He had a fever and terrible cough and I could just see the germs flying through the air as he forgot to cover his mouth (isn't there an old Sesame bit about that?? "Cover your mouth when you sneeze!" so he covered his knees....etc. They need to resurrect that one for my 3 year old). So no doubt, no doubt*, they made their way into our blood streams and we are just waiting out the incubation period.

So Tuesday arrives and indeed Simon was acting low on energy even in light of an upcoming baseball practice (which often perks him up). He went out there, and it was decent baseball weather, and played well and returned home just sapped. Then Wednesday came and he sort of thought he should stay home from school. However, we had Blazer tickets for that evening so I pulled the good ol' parent trick of "If you don't go to school, then you aren't well enough to do anything for the rest of the day" and a Blazer game with cousin Spencer was a good enough bribe to get his mind off the aches and pains he thought he felt (however, the aches and pains didn't forget...).

And, boy, was the game WORTH IT! Blazers beat up the Denver Nuggets 104-76, with everyone chanting "CHA LU PA!" as the 100th point was broken (free chalupas thanks to triple digit scores!). There was an even bigger eruption from the crowd as Rudy Fernandez scored his last 3 of the game making him the current holder of the most-3-pointers-in-a-season-by-a-rookie stat. That was awesome to be there for. Also there was ample booing for Chris "Birdman" Anderson. Where as Portland has a team of actual team players, Denver still insists on trading for players who think they are the only guy who knows how to make a basket. It was a great game to learn teamwork vs selfish basketball. And Simon absolutely picked up on it.

Simon was given $10 by Tim to spend anyway he wanted while at the game. It was so fun to see him think about how much he'd have left after a purchase and see if it was worth it. He finally decided on a red rope, which he thought was a great deal for such a fun, long piece of candy. He had his eye on cotton candy, but the vendor guy didn't come up our way again for a long time and so near the end of the game he settled on a small container of Dibs ice cream bites ($6). He was pleased to think he could get another red vine with the remainder, but with all the excitement he ended up going home with a couple of dollars instead.

He and I got to bed just after 11pm and the morning came early. He complained his throat hurt, which I attributed to all the cheering, gave him some IB profin and sent him on his way via school bus. He came home without a spring in his step and just seemed low. However, he went out to play with friends, so I figured he was fine. Thursday was a game night so at 4:30 we suited up and got to the ball field. After a great game, he was emotional over a misunderstanding and got home and ate his pizza with zero panache (pizza aught to be eaten with panache, am I right?) and sure enough had the chills/fever/aches as he got ready for bed. We warmed up the corny warmy and threw a few blankets in the dryer for extra warmth over his goose bumps and he zonked right out.

Should I feel a bit "played" then, now that it is Friday and I've let Simon stay home, missing his spelling test, and he happily played video games all morning? He's not tired and it's rest time. He's eating JUST FINE. But when I ask him "how do you feel?" it's "I'm sick..." HA! I mean of course you should follow the 24 hour fever rule as far as school goes, but really? He seems just fine. cough, cough, I'm sick, Mom...

And so what have I learned from this? That I'm a softy. My kids are sick and I am more than happy to pamper. My kids miss school, I let them play the xbox until the indiana jones theme song has played through 50 times, I'm wiping down tables and counters to the beat and realize I have a yearning to dig up ancient artifacts in our backyard.

*said in the best Alan Rickman voice from Sense and Sensibility

Spring Cleaning

2009-03-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

Tim left this morning to go video a retreat for a friend's church youth retreat. He packed up his Duke gear, as he will be supporting our team whether or not he can watch the sweet 16, lots of snacks and said goodbye for 3 nights. I took this opportunity to do some much needed spring cleaning.

As it goes with all major cleaning adventures, the start is messy. It gets worse before it gets better, I always say. And if you were to come and look at our room you would see it's true. First observation you would make is: do you SLEEP in this room? You see, you'd be unable to find the bed although it is the largest thing in the room taking up 1/2 the room's usable space. You'd also think that a dust storm had just raged through or perhaps a smallish tornado. You would be wondering if we had ever bothered to vacuum the carpet in the 6 months we've been here.

Six months.

It has hit me hard with the changing of the season. And the season is definitely changing, something we haven't seen in March in a long time. Tim checked the weather report for Denver and saw that they may be due for their every-4-year-snow-storm during spring break. I still remember sitting in our condo watching the snow pile up to amazing heights just outside our sliding glass door. Simon was just a baby and Tim still taught math at ACHS. It was a spring break to remember as it got extended several days and we were home bound for most of it.
But here everything has new growth! The hydrangea are getting leafy, lilac getting tiny black buds that will plump to show off their violet hues soon, and our planters are sporting unknown greenery perhaps planted by slack jawed birds in flight. I can smell the green. I can feel the itching, that expectancy of new life.

And where am I in my new life here? I have of late not felt close to my Creator and Friend and therefore am more prone to seeing the worst in things. I see change all around me, but when I look inside my wintered soul where there is still frost and I see little that is different. Sure the painful memories of the events that brought us here are numb and frosted over, but the tender wounds still lie underneath. Solid Grounds and the people that made that place special, Trailhead and the people whose hearts beat as one, our friends who became our family. I've been distant in communication with those people. Sure it's been out of plain laziness but also out of fear that to do so would cultivate an attitude of holding on, rather than pushing forward. Of course you can keep distant friendship alive without allowing yourself to solely find comfort in those people, but I think I am afraid that it'll just be too painful.

As I pulled apart our room I found a letter I purposely kept from this summer. A letter from the friends who provided financially for our return. Their loving and selfless sacrifice broke the dam. I found myself in tears as I remembered the day we got that letter and how we were so sure it was God providing for us to make a new life here. I know it may sound that I am less certain of that now, but it's not that. It's more that my patience is being stretched. Pulled until a a few threads are all that's left. But how weak am I? Six months? Some people wait years! Decades! Lifetimes for their prayers to be answered.

But how can I expect God to answer when I am not asking anything of Him? Oh sure, I go through spurts of day in day out communication. And it is certainly easier for me to pray for others on a consistent basis. For my children, it's easy. But praying for myself, it just seems like nagging. Or is it that I am afraid I won't like the answer? If I don't ask, I can just complain about not hearing God. But if I DO ask and when He does answer I don't think it's the best for me, then what? Then what?

I chose not to give up anything for Lent this year. I had for the past 4 years with positive experiences each time. I think this was the last time I felt God telling me something specific. On Ash Wednesday God told me that this year He didn't need me to give up one thing. He didn't need 2 or 3 things sacrificed. I was reminded of how God was not pleased with the Isrealites sacrifices because they were given out of ritual and not from a heart longing to please God. I felt God saying I would be conscious these 40 days to give my whole life, as a starting point for the rest of my life. And as I now am being reminded of this, I am reminded that I actually have had several moments of closeness with my Saviour since. I have been taught new things and had a new burning passion for my community and getting the church involved in service. I started a Volunteer Opportunity group for folks at our church. I'm less than vocal about it unless they stumble upon it on Whipple Creek Unifyer, but it's a baby step. I feel like I'm closer to committing time with other believers regularly during the week in fellowship and spiritual growth. Exactly what it looks like, if we join small group or just make our own, I don't know, but I am going to give that to God to make happen.

And I'm going to give God our job situation. We are at a turning point, with some money coming in from taxes that could give us a fresh start at, well, what I'm not entirely certain. But it could mean a new coffee venture, or perhaps joining with a friend's production company. It seems like such a big decision and I don't want to make the wrong one. We've been burned in every investment we've made. Not that God wasn't in any of them, but each one was fairly rushed. I don't want to do that. It doesn't need to make sense to the world, or even to me, but I do need to feel God's hand in it. I am praying about this decision, giving it to God especially these next few days as Tim is away. I will pray that God speaks to both of us about it and when we get together Sunday we will be one step closer to that decision, being unified in mind.

Thank you God for bringing these things to mind. If others read my words may they be encouraged because "Many will see what you've done [in my life] and give You praise". They will read of our struggles and weep with us. They will hear of how You've provided and rejoice. You are the God who split the Red Sea. Who will never leave me. Who sent His Son for me. You dresses the flowers and feeds the birds and Jesus says I'm more valuable to You than them. May your holy name be glorified, oh God!

Condo update

2009-02-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

Quickly:

There was in fact an all cash, no contingency offer on our condo. That was on Monday. However, as our Realtor called the bank to begin negotiation, she found that there were a few things that the bank needed before they could really talk about a short sale. So at this point, we're trying to get financial information together as well as a letter explaining our situation, and sent off to the banks, so that Donna can begin talks.

Unfortunately, the people that made the offer (investment buyers) are likely not going to wait around for all of that to happen. But, there's already been a couple more people asking around about the place to see if we're bank-approved for the short sale.

So, we're hopeful. And we'll keep you up to date.

Thanks for praying.

Tim

Partial Update

2009-02-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

Without minimal backstory and explanation, let me say that Kari and I decided to give our money pit and general morale-sucking condo back to the bank. (That's somewhat easier than saying 'foreclosure'). As part of that process, we listed the place for sale (at less than half of what we owe, because that's what condos are selling for, if at all). The thought is that if someone offered on the place, we could approach the bank with a short sale, and since they'd be foreclosing on us in a couple months anyway, perhaps they'd take the short amount. This was all hypothetical, because we weren't figuring

I just got a call from our friend and Realtor, Donna Swauger, who notified us that she is expecting receive an offer tomorrow. If that actually happens, Donna will contact the banks on Tuesday and begin the negotiation process. If a short sale is agreed upon, then likely the difference between what we owed and what we sell it for would be considered income and we'd have to pay taxes on it at the end of the year. But, we wouldn't, as I understand it, actually owe the fifty-five thousand dollars to anyone.

So anyway, if you're the praying sort, we want to ask you to be praying for this all to work out. We'd love to have closure on this nightmare. But not foreclosure.

Ha.

Ha.

Besides that - Kari's trying to kick a nasty cold thing. I worked four days last week, which I think is the first time I've done that since September 14th. I continue to hope and pray desperately to get out of teaching permanently. God has been very gracious to put me in substitute positions of late which have been neutral to pleasant, but I continue to be convinced that my calling and desire lay elsewhere.

Kids are all doing well. Sean has become interested in letters and their sounds and now knows them better than his older sister. Oh, and he's also dressing himself with about 70% proficiency. Eowyn is constantly playing with the older neighbor boys. I never thought I could be so suspicious of 8-year-olds. Simon continues to do well in school, hates scooping poop, and starts baseball next month.

Until next time...

Tim

Marc Broussard January 22, 2009

2009-02-05T12:18:00.000-08:00

Marc Broussard. What an AWESOME fun time that was. Caleb got us tickets as Christmas presents and I could not wait for the January 22nd show at the Aladdin Theater in Portland. I had never been to the Aladdin and so for full effect we got there early with the plan to eat at the bar attached to the theatre appropriately called The Lamp. We got there a good hour and quarter before the show to find it packed full of other Brouss fans. We circled around trying not to be too obvious that we were vultures with the single mind of scoping out the next empty table. We had beverages in hand and kept our cool. We even sat uncomfortably close to some ladies who were, sad to say, stuck in the early 90s and while I tried not to judge, I did have to laugh a little bit. But eventually our circling paid off and the four of us closed in on a small square table in the middle of the room.

Brian, Caleb, Tim and I sat, relieved we'd be able to eat while sitting and took little time ordering. We decided on chicken strips, fish & chips and a large decked out nacho plate and drooled as our tummies rumbled. It was getting closer to the start of the show, but we still had a good 45 minutes so we ordered more drinks (Amaretto Sours for me) and chit chatted about this n' that. It was a good time, but as we talked so too the clock marched onward, ever closer to 7:30. We did NOT want to miss our show. At about 7:15 we were obviously flustered. The bar had thinned out after 7, when they openned the doors, and we had STILL not been served. The barkeep came over to apologize for the delay (after we heard some strong words exchanged between the cook and he) and to appease us he gave us a round of drinks on the house. I was hoping for a little of the buzz benefit as I felt my stomach started to eat itself, but alas after 3 Amaretto Sours, I felt nothing. Tim reassured me that it's just because the alcohol level in amaretto is relatively low. I hope he's right and it's not that I've built a tolerance. Really and truly, I do not drink often, so that made sense to me. At 7:29 and not a minute earlier, our food comes out and conversation stopped completely as we scarfed down our food. It was SO delicious and yet we had no time to really relish the yumminess. And boy, was it yummy.

We heard music starting up and as soon as we brushed the crumbs from our lips we quickly scooted over to the auditorium. We got stamped with red ink that I think was supposed to be a "no" sign (circle with a line through it) but it immediately spread into the crack and crevices of my skin to form an unintelligible shape. I could have used a red magic marker and got the same effect. The first preshow gig was a guy named Josh Hoge. He was funny, cute and really really entertaining. I would totally check him out and buy a CD if you are looking for a new artist to get into. After Josh a gal named Jessie Baylin came out and sort of heavied the mood with her meloncholy songs and sedentary melodies. It wasnt' that her voice was bad, or that the music was bad, but it wasn't the get up and dance sort of style Josh and of course Marc have. So in a way, I guess a good thing to "clear the palatte" as it were with someone completely "so-so" before Marc came to outshine everyone. I would describe her as a Brandi Carlisle (who I love, by the way) but with no get up and go type of songs, and with much less passion. I wish her all the best, but she didn't ressonate with me.

So then they break again for what we know was to be Marc's band. After the first song or so, it was obvious we would NOT be able to enjoy the show sitting down, so I grabbed my purse and Tim and I marched ourselves down to inbetween the aisles with other fans who likewise had to shake their booty. We shook and shook and thankfully Bri and Caleb joined us for the rest of the show. There was a slow part of the show where Marc played the songs he had written for a couple of his kiddos (the music clip below is from the one to this daughter, Evangeline Rose....such a sweet song) . At the end Marc launched into his biggest hit, Home, and added some new twists. We sang and danced and then he did something that I did not expect. He went off to the side of the stage in the middle of the song and came back with a washboard on his chest and spoons! The crowd errupted as he skillfully played the metal ridges in time to the funky beat the band was putting down. And as we thought the song was dying down, he came out again with the full tempo revived and Josh and Jessie joining in to the rattling of the spoons off his chest. The crowd was beside themselves and I now see the draw of a good washboard :)

We left after the show talking all about the fun concert and fully satisfied, again, with a Marc concert (we had seen him this past summer at the Portland Zoo during our summer vacation). And it won't be the last one!

~Kari

Marc

2009-01-22T22:43:00.001-08:00

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Promises

2009-01-15T22:12:00.000-08:00

I needed to hear this today.

"God's promises were never meant to be thrown aside as waste paper. He intended that they should be used. He loves to see His children bring them up to Him and say, "Lord, do as thou hast said." We glorify God when we plead His promises. Do you think God will be any poorer for giving you the riches He has promised?...Faith goes straight to the throne and pleads, "Lord, here is the promise. Do as thou hast said"...Do not think that God will be troubled by your persistence in reminding Him...It is His delight...He is more ready to hear than you are to ask. The sun is not weary of shining, nor the fountain of flowing. It is God's nature to keep His promises." CH Spurgeon

My daily devotional book that Joyce Paeth gave me on the occasion of my high school graduation has a years worth of such wisdom from Spurgeon. She wrote on the inside cover to me "Kari, Charles Spurgeon was such a deeply insightful pastor of the past century, and his wisdom still carries one in to great depths of the Word. This is my very most favorite devotional book. I hope you find it helpful too, Kari. Lovingly, Joyce Paeth June 8, 1996"

I do not doubt she prayed over this little devotional, or for me that day 12 1/2 years ago for each time I choose to open it I do find something new, go deeper, encounter wonders before unknown.

Today I needed to hear this.

It has been nearly 3 1/2 months since we arrived in Vancouver. 4 1/2 months since God took Tim's job away. 5 1/2 months since I was no longer working. So many things were so obvious to us then. Obvious that God was calling us elsewhere. There was little left for us in Denver. When we choose to move back it was because we felt God was telling us: "I give and take away. I gave you that job and now I take it away. But do not despair. I have something new for you. Enjoy your family. Be near to them and enjoy them. Be a blessing to them. And in doing so you will find I will use you for My glory there. "

So God, since I feel You have told Tim and I that we can make a difference for Your kingdom here in Vancouver, I pray boldly and without apology: Let us make a difference for You, God. You have called us here, ripped us away from good things going on in Denver. Good people who we love. But we have willingly come to Vancouver looking all the more forward to what awaits us here. What awaits us here, Lord? Your church, Your people, they are hurting and looking for a different way to experience church. We have been blessed to have experienced it. Would you have us bring our experiences to a new church? Dear Lord, whatever it is, You have promised us that if we are willing we will make a difference. Again I say WE ARE WILLING! We even have a church we both feel confident you have for our family. May we bless them as they bless us. May our children grow in a deeper knowledge of you and make good friends there. Capture Vancouver's heart for you. Capture the children's hearts. The desperate. The lonesome. Bring people to Whipple Creek who are willing to give church another try and find LIFE there. Life in You, Lord. I ask that You keep Your promise to us, but not to bring us glory, but Your Son glory, God. We are not pastors. We are not learned in the world's eyes, but God, in Your goodness You have allowed us to experience Life in You through new and fresh ways. We are a fool in the eyes of this world to think we, broken as we are, can make a difference for You. But You, oh Lord, You have before used the murders, prostitutes, outcasts of the world to make the most difference for You. We want to be used here, God. We only desire to be wise in your ways, not the worlds. This world is not our home. Keep us looking heavenward. And in doing so, keep your promise to us. Show us today, Lord, more specifically what it looks like for our family to make a difference in Vancouver.

To the glory of God the Father and Jesus Christ His risen son,
Amen

~Kari

Garden State

2009-01-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

Why do I love Garden State so much? Let me count the ways...
1. The music: Perfectly placed and poignant (amazing mix of Coldplay, Carey Brothers, The Shins, Remo Zero, Nick Drake, Simon & Garfunkle, Frou Frou and more)
2. The story: After his mother's death, a grown son comes home to find communication with his father (who is also his psychiatrist who has had him on anti depressant pills most his life) as hard as ever. During his 4 day stay at home he meets a new friend and encounters a few old ones and has some pretty interesting experiences. Basically, just real-life-is-really-hard type of stuff.
3. The actors: Zach Braff...um, yes. Natalie Portman...um, likewise, yes. Ian Holm...absolutely, yes, Peter Sarsgaard...yes.

For all these things put together, I have to say I LOVE IT!!!

And I'm just so impressed with Zach who wrote and directed it.

I'm not the only one who thought so, either. In addition to being a nominee for the Grand Jury prize at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival, Braff received Best New Director from the Chicago Film Critics Association, the Florida Film Critics Circle's Pauline Kael Breakout Award, Best Debut Director award from the National Board of Review of Motion Pictures and Breakout of the Year from the Phoenix Film Critics Society. (a wikipedia reference, so there.)

I've watched it several times since we've owned it and I love it more each time.
Go forth and watch.
~Kari

Snow

2008-12-19T09:38:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons we moved to Colorado in the first place eight years ago was because I love the snow. I was actually a little disappointed when we got there and were told that Colorado didn't get that much snow, but for my taste, it is perfect. In eight years we experienced two huge blizzards and eight winters of consistent snow fall, with at least one day off from school each year (I think).

Returning to the Northwest this year, there was definitely an unspoken fear about coping with the weather. Not only ungodly number of days that it rains, but also the severe lack of snow.

What we count as a true gift from God is that when we arrived in October, we were treated to some of the warmest, clearest fall weather we've ever experienced up here (on the heals of one of the nicest summers in 30 years), and now, lo and behold, we've got snow.

It's a little hilarious how it's being dealt with up here. On Monday, an inch and a half fell in Portland.

An inch and a half.

I kid you not, EVERY school within 40 miles of Portland, except for Simon's district, was closed on Tuesday. Seriously.

Then, Vancouver got a dusting over night on Thursday and THEY closed down. An inch fell last night, and now every school, including Simon's is closed.

The grass is not even covered in the yard, and all the schools are closed.

It's such a gift to have the snow here. We miss Colorado. We became Coloradans. And snow is a part of that. So, as we wean ourselves from some aspects of Colorado, it's nice to have a crutch to lean on (not to mix metaphors).

One thing that Kari and I were both thinking independently and then shared with each other is that we both find the falling snow far more beautiful here than in Colorado. For certain, it's peaceful and pretty anywhere (we just love watching it fall), but there are so few tall, dark green trees in Colorado. And we have found that seeing the snow fall against a dark backdrop of evergreen trees provides a contrast that we just didn't have in Colorado. It's gorgeous.

All of this snow has meant that I only worked two days this week. Which is actually just the same as every other week. For those of you tracking this blog, please be praying for financial subsistence. If I've thrown a lot of lines out and so far not much has come in. I'm working about two days a week, and if I didn't believe that God could still take care of us supernaturally, I'd say that we have nothing left and we're totally screwed.

In a couple of the days off that I've had, I've been able to go down to Barnes and Noble and spend several hours writing. It's been wonderfully fulfilling, and I am thankful for the time I've had to be creative.

My mom says that there is likely going to be a position open as a "relief courier" for the hospital, and I might be in line for that come next year. It'd be around 15 bucks and hour to be on call for when one of their regular drivers is out. It could potentially fill in some of the gaps between substitute jobs.

I've got an interview scheduled for a full time math position that would run from February through the end of the year. It was supposed to happen on the 17th, but school was canceled so it got rescheduled for the 7th of January. I really don't want the job. It's a school very much like the one I left, and it's a position created solely to help boost test scores - which actually have little to do with student knowledge and achievement. So, only because of personal financial gain, I should want the job, but I don't because it's not work that I enjoy, nor is the philosophy behind this particular job one that I believe in.

Nevertheless, I plan on going to the interview on the 7th.

I did register RKH Pictures as a business in Washington, doing business as Denison Video Production. This is so that I can work for my friend as a videographer when they need an extra hand, and they can pay me as an independent contractor. Work is supposed to be increasing for them next month, so that would be awesome .

Kari may have already mentioned this, but Simon got his first progress report this year. He did great. He met all standards and got an excellent on one of the reading standards. This is awesome, check this out: Simon's in the advanced reading group for 1st graders. The ADVANCED reading goal is to be at 20 correct words per minute by the end of January, and 55 words per minute by the end of the year. Simon, as of early December, is already at 104 correct words a minute.

What?

Uncle Caleb's family got him a lamp for his birthday, and he spends every night till way past bedtime reading Calvin and Hobbes by his light. He comprehends most of what he reads and it's built his sight-reading ability, I think.

On the church front, we've visited many, and are making our first return trip to what has felt like the best option for us. It's called Whipple Creek.

Alright, I'm out.

Tim

Christmas Time

2008-12-16T13:55:00.001-08:00

It's Christmas time and we've been enjoying eggnog lattes and peppermint mochas whenever we can! We've been decorating, listening to the few Christmas CDs we have (we fear we left most our CDs at a hotel we stayed at on the move...but no one turned it in...sniff, sniff. Along with our nice camera... we are very sad, and bitter.) Since we don't have many Christmas CD's I've been reduced to listening to our easy listening station that plays Christmas 24/7. On said station they play a lot of cheesy songs. For those of you who do not live in the northwest you may not know the one amazing song we have out here for Christmas: Christmas in the Northwest. Listed are actual lyrics to the song...

The wind may not blow
Might not even snow
But there's nothing like Christmas
Right here at home

It may not be white
Might be a rainy night
But there's nothing like sharing
The sounds and the sights of ...

Christmas in the Northwest
Is a gift that we can share
Christmas in the Northwest
Is a child's answered prayer

Take away the presents
And they still will have a dream
For Christmas in the Northwest
Is a gift God wrapped in green

Um...yeah. It's bad. I've heard it only once and felt the need to suffer through it. It's penance, the price you pay to live here.

A child's answered prayer?? Really???

Anyway...We are SO looking forward to Suzanne coming back from Boston on Thursday, December 18th. We miss her so and are SO thankful we even get to be around the whole family this year. We do not take it for granted and even in the pain of remembering what's happened since August, we know God is blessing us with our wonderful family.

Simon is going to turn 7 on Christmas eve. What a night that was nearly 7 years ago!
I still can't watch "A Muppets Christmas Carol" without thinking of labor pains (some of you know the story!) and I still have a baby sized stocking that some sweet ladies made for the Christmas babies that year! We never did put him inside it. However, we were at the hospital on Christmas day with our new little present all wrapped up like a burrito and Suzanne came out that day! Having her there made it feel like Christmas. My folks and Tim's were able to come out after the new year, which was great, but it just says something about my sister that she'd come out on Christmas day to be near us. Simon still has "cutesy moosey" that she gave him that day...his first Christmas present :) He actually just got a must needed bath today...still soft!

But here we are 7 years later and he is this gorgeous, bright kid who loves Star Wars and
Indiana Jones and Wall Ball (perhaps in that order). We threw him an Indiana Jones adventure of his own with a few friends and it went splendidly.We went to "Egypt" and discovered the lost treasure of Cairo, with the help of 8 little Indy's and 1 big one (can you guess who??)
There were caves, pyramids, mummys, digging sites, deserts, the sphynx, treasure and yes, Nazis. I hate those guys.

So that's been our month so far. I'm sure there will be plenty more stories to tell after Christmas day. I think I'm more excited about it than my kids! It's pretty fun being a parent :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!
~Kari

Jasmine Belle Denison

2008-11-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

We have a niece! Jasmine Belle Denison was born at 7:19 PM PST in Oregon City, Oregon to Caleb and Erika Denison and brother Spencer Sullivan. Jasmine was 20 inches and 7 lbs 6 oz at birth. She's beautiful and has a gorgeous voice.

Pictures to follow.

Birth

2008-11-22T17:03:00.001-08:00

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Piano Lessons

2008-11-20T00:03:00.000-08:00

It is weird looking back at our last few months in Colorado before we decided God would have us move to the NW. It is good for me to look back at what was so obvious then because right now, honestly, nothing is obvious. But I have looked back and one piece to the puzzle God was piecing together for us (although I swear it feels as if he's tearing it apart and creating a whole new picture) lay in piano lessons. Over the years in Aurora, I had just enough piano students for what I needed and for what I could handle. It was late spring/early summer that my then current piano students decided to stop with lessons, which I welcomed as I saw their interest dwindling in lieu of their busy teen lives imbedded with new interests and as I thought we'd be moving to Littleton in the near future to be nearer to the coffeehouse and church. It was right that I sever connections in Aurora so it will be one less thing to worry about should a fast move happen.

Another thing that happened that some people know the full details on and others don't, is the sudden ending of my babysitting income. I had been babysitting for a gal for nearly 2 years and after we returned from visiting our folks in late July/early August and it became obvious that I needed to not do that anymore either. But, it was okay. I would find something in Littleton.

Littleton was the answer.

And yet when we got offered a house in Littleton for a good chunk less than they could have got for it because they were good folk looking to help us out, we hestitated. And why? This house was within walking distance from both Trailhead and Solid Grounds. It was in a great neighborhood with great schools. It was summer and Simon would easily transition to full day 1st grade at a new school. It had everything going for it...except timing. While Tim and I are notorious for fast thinking and acting, we hestitated. We couldn't quite see the finances fitting even with the deal they were willing to cut us. And yet we knew God would provide, if it was the right thing to do. So we prayed. The peace did not come. We waffled long enough the landlords needed an answer. That answer was to pass on a seemingly perfect home.

That seemed to be the first of the snowflakes that turned into a giant run away snowball. Tim mentioned the situation to folks at work and each one groaned that we didn't take the house. We were assured we'd get help with moving costs, were promised a raise and even a reassurance of being committed to Tim for the long haul. With renewed energy and hope we began looking for just the right house. And I wasn't even going to be picky, if we had to be in apartment at first, fine, let's just get down to Littleton.

Littleton. It was the answer to all our problems, or so we thought.

As the weeks went by, the raise never came. In fact it came out later that it was more of a tactic to lessen the pressures on Tim, who was apparently losing his energy. And indeed he was. So when our 2 week vacation came, I was excited. It's what we needed after a crazy 1/2 year getting that place up and running. It was going to be good to help Tim's mom after surgery and it was going to be restful, too.

Our return to Colorado was exciting for me. Littleton, here we come! I had no income, so I was on craigslist everyday trying to find a little side money and did get paid to do nursery for Wellspring Church Sunday mornings. In fact I even decided to keep up with Aurora piano students and made a sign for my yard and craigslisted and got a lot of interest. I thought this was the answer. Okay, we may not be moving just yet, but I can keep up these interested students until that day came. Oddly enough, out of all the interest, it turned out I only got one student! I had people secure days for lessons and not show up or return phone calls. Just weird! But I kept a positive outlook amid the confusion.

Our return to Colorado was less exciting for Tim as he was basically put on notice the day we returned. After 2 weeks off, the guys in charge decided things weren't as they should be at the coffeeshop (it was then I realized the raise would never come). But that was okay because Tim was ready to now start up some community focused programs at the coffeehouse and things were going to improve. It would take time, but time was not something he had. He was terminated shortly afterwards.

I look back and see how God was severing connections for me. There was nothing for me in Colorado to hang onto (I say this totally outside of friendships and church, which are much more meaningful and I am still hanging on to :). But nothing for me to feel bad stepping out from (if you know me, you know I'm a people pleaser and hate to say no or inconvenience anyone). It was hard enough to tell my one piano student and Wellspring that I would be moving.

It really is good for me to look back on those details during this time of uncertainty. It was so obvious that this was the right move to make back when we made it (there were several other reasons, too). So clear.

Now I have 4 piano students here! Four new students who are each unique and sweet and I am so blessed. So blessed to have this skill and for it to be something I like and can fit into my schedule. Isabelle, Keri, Matthew and Courtney. They range in age from 5-27 and are so wonderful and each so different from one another. They energize me and God is good to allow me to feel special in this way. I can teach piano, and I'm pretty good at it! All this to His glory because it is He who has made me, and not me, myself.

So this is one piece of the puzzle that is giving me hope during this crazy time.
A reason for me to give thanks.
~Kari

Been a while

2008-11-09T22:49:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since an update here. Our apologies.

It's 10:30 and I've got a sub job tomorrow, so I'm going to be brief and get to bed.

-Tomorrow is my fourth sub job. Total. In a over a month. But, I AM working tomorrow. Picking up sub jobs has proven to be far more difficult than imagined.
-As it turns out, subbing has reminded me of why I left teaching.....I don't like it. Well, sort of. My first sub job was not good, and my next two were with middle schoolers and were okay. But okay is still kinda lame when you're used to doing something you love. Be that as it may, I'm trying to stay in "any work is good work" mode, since we're really struggling for money.
-We've all been sick once since coming out here. Head and chest cold/flu stuff. I think we're all just now getting done with all that. Eowyn is still taking some ear drops for a likely ear infection and we've got residual cough, but that's it.
-Kari went all out on my birthday again and sent me on what proved to be a three-day treasure hunt complete complete with secret journals and coded messages. It was pretty incredible.
-I, err...sorta got an xbox 360 from my parents. Yes. I'm 32 and I'm still getting video game systems for my birthday. I am pretty stoked about it.
-I went and shot some b-roll at a murder scene the other day. It was far less cool than that perhaps sounds, but Jamie and I were the only camera men there who were allowed to cross the police line. Local Fox, CBS, and ABC affiliates had to stand outside. Jamie's company is doing some PR work for the bureau and so we have special access. Weird deal - police find body of 57 year old woman in her brother's tub. she's been stabbed and in the tub for 4 days while he sits in his living room and watches tv. Weird.
-Having enough business for Off The Menu Productions to need a fourth partner (something I'm really hoping for) is still well off in the distance. But I'm hanging out with the guys whenever I can.
-My brother Caleb and his wife Erika should be having their baby any day now.
-The church hunt continues. We've visited The Compass, The Well and The Table. Gone are the days off churches named for an area. Oh yeah, The Table meets in the building of another church called "The Red Sea" church. That's cool and all. But "Trailhead" is still my fav. We'll probably visit both of those places a couple more times as well as check out Imago Dei (maybe) and the Portland Mosaic.
-We could use prayer for God's provision (we're starting to be a burden on the folks') and encouragement (feeling a little dry).

That's all for now. Must. Sleep.

Love to all.

Tim

All alone in the moonlight.

2008-10-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

There is, for those reading and not from the Northwest, the greatest fast food restaurant in the world based and run right here out of Portland. Burgerville only does business with local vendors, is socially conscious and environmentally responsible, and their food is SWEET. From GIGANTIC Walla Walla Sweet onion rings, to fresh blackberry shakes and smoothies to the best fast food burger around, the Pepper Bacon Tillamook Cheeseburger, Burgerville delivers great food at prices you'd expect from a company that doesn't freeze dry all of its food before it's served to you and doesn't shop around the country and the world to get its beef, chicken and produce for a cheaper price, because the freshest and tastiest beef, chicken, cheese, ice cream, lettuce and tomatoes are all raised, grown and made right here within a few miles. Love the Ville. They don't have a dollar menu, so I can't hit them as often as I like, but then again, when I do spring for that Pepper Bacon Cheeseburger, there is a satisfaction worth far more than five of those half beef anus half who knows what dollar burgers from the golden arches.

This particular Burgerville, I believe, is the original Burgerville location, and sports no dining area, no drive through, and a nice retro experience. It is ALSO the location of record for the first date that Kari and I ever had. That is, we've always said it was. However, as we picked up our nine-grain turkey club and pepper bacon cheeseburgers last Friday night (alone, by the way, Thank You Grandparents!), and began to reminisce about that first afternoon when we walked over from Fort Vancouver and the Biggest Fireworks Display West of the Mississippi and got some food together. Mmmm...our first date.

But then, wait a second. Fireworks happen on the Fourth of July. Didn't we start "going out" on January 8th? Yes. Yes, we did. We were at my house watching Say Anything, and at the part when John Cusack goes to Ione Skye's house and holds up his boom box and plays In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, I make my move all smooth, saying, "So. Do you want to go out?" (I felt like we had to make it official since we had kinda been friends with minor benefits for a while. That's right, I was a tool aka a teenager.) She was all for it, and that was the beginning. January 8, 1993.

At any rate, if that was the day we starting "going out", why on earth was our first "date" - something we have gotten all mushy about for, like, 12 years every time we pass by that Burgerville - 7 months later? Has our great first date "memory" been a figment of our collective imagination for so many years? Well, perhaps. Perhaps it was the first time we were allowed to be together alone outside of one our houses. Maybe it was the first food we'd officially gone out alone for. I don't know. In the end, after much discussion , Kari decided:

"Who knows? We're old."

I can't wait until 25 years from now when we reminisce about the bygone days of yesteryear when we stole that 40 ft yacht from the marina and sailed to Mexico for our anniversary only to run avast of pirates who kidnapped us and threw us in the brig with a young teenage boy, whom we rescued when Kari cleverly beguiled the captain into thinking Swedish Massage with Butcher Knives was the most relaxing thing in the WORLD, and who just happened to be the son of the zillionaire owner of the yacht we stole who, upon the safe return of his kidnapped-by-pirates son, dropped all charges of grand theft yacht, and wished us a happy and blessed anniversary.

"Did that ever happen?" our first grandchild will ask, and we'll say, "Of course! Um. No wait. Babe? Did that ever happen?" And our grandchild will think, "Oh well. They're old."

Ah, the memories.

John 16:33b

2008-10-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have overcome the world.

~Jesus the Messiah

How this verse has filled me with life! You will have troubles in this world. Point blank. No "sorry"s. It's just the way it is. Why? Because the world is cursed? Probably. Because in the end it will draw us closer to our God? Undoubtedly. But either way, this world has trouble and we WILL experience them.

"But take heart!"

How, God? How, can I begin to hope that it'll be okay? That I'll be okay?

Simply this:

"I have overcome the world."

Praise God. Praise Jesus. My soul wells up, bubbling over with relief and with love to my Jesus, my Saviour...Lord there is none like You!

You have overcome the world.

~kari

Lakeview Farm & Pumpkin Patch '08

2008-10-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Lakeview Farms near Hillsboro proved to be a BLAST. Thank you Auntie Haircut for suggesting this fun location for the cousins to come pick a pumpkin.

Our day hadn't started off well. We had missed trying out a new church (The Well in Portland) because of our own foolishness: waking late, no gas in the van, having forgotten to grab cash for the pumpkin patch, etc. and were reeling with all the things we had been neglecting and needed to do in the coming work week. Though we were not trying to blame each other, I know my nerves were a little sensitive and the conversation was not pleasant.

But as we drove down 26, the sun was high on this perfect autumn Sunday and the kids' excitement was tangible in the air. "Pumpkin Patch be fun...?" asks Sean. We recalled that last year it was the "Punkin Hatch" and we sighed with how fast they grow up. We drove past the Roloff's farm (of Big People Little World fame) and took the Hillsboro exit. As we did I had a flashback of our Colorado pumpkin patch experiences. Our favorite place we found out there was in Boulder and the colors of the trees and the long drive reminded me so much of those trips that I could almost smell the mountain air in my mind.

We followed the signs to Lakeview Farm and boy was it a hip, happen' place! We got in line to purchase our tickets ($4 per person) which included a train ride out to the pumpkin field and a paddle boat ride back. We got in line again as we waited for the little train to come pick us up. All the kids were so excited to get to ride the Pumpkin Express. It chugged through a small shed filled with Halloweeny things (not my favorite) and dropped us off at the large field full of huge funky green pumpkins, small squat orange ones and everything in between. My dreams for a pumpkin was that it would be large and Simon found a decent sized one that fulfilled my criteria of everything a pumpkin should be: No gashes, no rotting, good side for carving faces, and it HAS TO HAVE A STEM.

Good job, Simon.

Eowyn, on the other hand, found a tiny mostly green one with no stem. Way to go, babe! She loves it and has slept with it during nighttime and naps. It now has a Sharpie drawn face with "spots," she informs me.

Back at the farm, Uncle Caleb wheel barrow-ed 5 families worth of pumpkins to the waiting line for the paddle boats, the moms took the kids over to the hay bale maze where the proceeded to get lost and find their way again to the finish. We then get on the standing room only paddle boat and enjoy a slow ride across the man made lake where mechanical sea monsters try to eat us and a large shark spit water all over us. A kids' dream!

We smelled kettle corn as the boys, excuse me, MEN stood in line, again, (notice a theme here?) to purchase the pumpkins. There were cutouts where you could take your picture as a farmer and wife. All our pictures, however, only had a farmer because all the kids were boys and Eowyn, gosh darn it, wanted to be a farmer, too.

We went back over to Uncle Caleb & Auntie Haircut's for beer soaked Brats and baseball. Unfortunately, that didn't end well for us Red Sox fans, but we love our Boston Boys anyway and wish them a pleasant off season (love you Dustin! love you JPap! and Suzanne, can't we just share and be happy at that? There's so much love to be had there...)

And that was Team Denison's Pumpkin Patch Adventure '08 :)
~kari

These pictures are a little jacked.

2008-10-19T22:08:00.000-07:00

So, click on the landscape photos that take up the full width of the posting column, because they're being chopped off. Not sure how to fix that exactly.

The boys on the train

2008-10-19T22:05:00.003-07:00

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

The crew at the patch

2008-10-19T22:05:00.001-07:00

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Cousins at the pumpkin patch.

2008-10-19T22:04:00.001-07:00

Simon and Spencer had a great time at the pumpkin patch today. We went out with Calen and Erika and some of their friends who we are getting to know. There was a train ride and a boat ride and everyone had a load of fun.

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I'm beginning to see it now...

2008-10-16T11:21:00.001-07:00

m so ill-equipped for this life.
I am weak. I am unintelligible. I am uninspired. I am a creature of habit. I am selfish.

I am so selfish.

I'm broken.

And I'm not alone. My family is broken. As individuals, as a whole.

But God, in all His glory and goodness, has taken our brokenness.
He has looked on us with love and compassion. It's hard for me to accept.
He sees the pieces of this girl and makes me whole. It's hard for me to grasp.
He then wants a relationship with me that goes beyond mere words of a prayer.
He wants me. He's stolen my pain away.
God:
I wanted you to know that
I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away...
Me:
Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

And yes, I do not feel right when I allow myself to drift away, to think I can do this life all on my own.

Thank you, God, for blessing this family in spite of us. Through the generations You have been faithful.

He's been so faithful. He's never ceased to pursue us. And praise be to God that our family, by the blood and grace of Jesus,
has chosen to seek Him. The more I live life the more I see the how the world is trying
to fulfill what only He can. The unfaithful lovers, who looks so appealing in the night,
but by day unmask their ugly, true intentions. Follow me, they say. I will give you what you want.

But for what price?

Follow me, Christ says, that you may have life and have it to its fullest.

Oh God, in my weakness You are strong.
Oh God, be my strength.

You alone can save me.

I am willing for you to use me, God.
Use me to bring your glory to this family.
For such a time as this You have brought me here.
I am beginning to see it now.

I Peter 1:3-9
3Praise be to the God and
Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new
birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from
the dead, 4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These
have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes
even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in
praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though
you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him
now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and
glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

~kari

Happenings

2008-10-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

It's the end of our first full week here in Vancouver. By way of update:

- I'm still not employed. I began the job search on Monday, but also found that I could sub at any school in Washington much earlier than I thought if I'd just call and ask for my sub license. So I did that, and it came on Friday. So now what I need is for my recommendation letters to come through from Aurora Central, and I should be able to get on board with a bunch of districts for substituting. In the mean time, I decided my options were limited, due to the fact that I would likely not be with any employer longer than a week or two - and it's not fair to have someone go through the process of training and then leave them after a week. I've also had a tutoring group call me, and I'd likely be able to pick up another 80 to 100 bucks a week working for a few hours after school with kids in their homes through that group.

- Since I haven't been working, I've had the opportunity to observe my old friend Jamie and new friends Luke and Matt over at Off the Menu Productions, while they've been working on a project for All God's Children International. It's been fun to reacquaint myself with some of the things I picked up in film school, and the guys have been great at letting me through my input into the ring. Great guys, all of them.

- Simon got through his first week of school and I think is already known by many of his classmates as "the sensitive kid." I could be wrong, but his third day of class, kids were coming up to him before class and saying, "Hey, Simon! Are you going to have a good day today?" He seems to have the friendliest 1st grade classmates in the world.

- On Thursday night, Kari and I went out for our anniversary. We had a nice time. Saw Burn After Reading (funny, crazy, and a little disturbing - par for the course for the Coen's). Happy Hour food at Stanford's. Nice time. When we were leaving the house, Simon was playing with the next door neighbor Hayden. Two kids from down the street who know Hayden asked if Hayden wanted to come play football, and said Simon could join. I guess they went down there and it began to rain, so Hayden and Simon said they had to leave. Apparently, Kevin, the guy they were playing with, kinda threw a fit. Next day, as Simon got off the bus from school, he was in tears. Asked what was wrong, and after not wanting to talk about it, he said Kevin called him a "brat" for no good reason. Hayden's mom was there and said that Kevin wasn't a real nice boy and that the boys shouldn't play with him for a little while. This is when she told us about Kevin throwing a fit the previous day. What was interesting was Simon's insistence that he go down to Kevin's house and tell him to his face that he didn't like being called names and that his feelings were hurt. That surprised me in a good way. Simon wouldn't let it go. So, eventually, I walked with him down the street to Kevin's house. This was later in the evening and Hayden and another kid were riding their bikes around with Kevin outside. I stood back to watch and Simon called out Kevin's name. Kevin didn't respond, just kept riding. But Hayden stopped his bike by Simon and said, "Kevin! Simon wants to talk to you. Come over here." So Kevin did. Simon stood in front of his bike and, beginning to tear up, said, "Why did you call me a brat on the bus?" Kevin said, "I didn't." Simon reached up and grabbed the bar between the grips on Kevin's bike. Not threatening, more for support I think because in the face of Kevin's denial, Simon was really having to hold back the tears. He couldn't say anything...so he just looked at Kevin in the eye, holding his bike, and nodded at him over and over. Yes you did. Don't lie. (Not out loud, but that's what his face said.) "I didn't." Kevin repeated. I thought we were in for a stalemate and I'd have to step in, but that's when Hayden said to Kevin, "I was sitting right next to Simon on the bus, and I hear you say it, Kevin." That's when Kevin said, "Sorry." So Simon let go, and we walked home. I was so impressed with Hayden's willingness to stand up for the truth. And I'm really proud of Simon for wanting to express his feelings.

That's all for now. There's much more going on internally right now, but I only feel capable of relating external events at this point.

Take care.

-Tim